The moment we take our first breath we learn what it means to need something.
We have physical, emotional, and psychological needs. We have basic needs and specific needs. We have needs within needs. Does this mean we are needy? No, it means we're human, and one of the strongest needs that human beings have is the need to be loved.
Think about the love of your life, your better half, the person who completes you—your spouse. Your spouse has needs. This should be obvious, but sometimes, we seem to forget it.
Perhaps, it would be beneficial to stop and ask ourselves the question, “What can I do to be more considerate of my spouse’s needs?”
It takes courage to ask that question. Coming up with answers could present a challenge. Here are some practical steps that could prepare us for that challenge and lead to a better half that truly feels better.
When it comes to meeting your spouse’s needs, don’t wait to be introduced
It takes focused observation to uncover your spouse’s strongest needs. Watch to see what they have when they are content and what they lack when they are troubled. If sounds from the kitchen or garage are louder than usual, maybe your spouse needs a helping hand (if you dare). If you see your spouse’s face light up when you are going on and on about their talents when talking with a neighbor, maybe your spouse needs to know you are proud of them. There could be times when you may need to come right out and ask your spouse to tell you what they need.
Allow your spouse’s needs to be different from your own
When you are upset you may want to talk things through, but maybe your spouse prefers to quietly think through things. Let your spouse take that time before you say, “Talk to me."
Be willing to put the needs of your spouse ahead of your own
If that sounds easy, you are a saint, or you haven’t had much experience in that area. You find yourself with a free Saturday and are looking forward to losing yourself in a good book, but your spouse needs your help painting the spare bedroom. It’s their project but your opportunity to help.
Taking the time to consider your spouse’s needs can prevent hurt feelings and lead to greater understanding. Knowing what your spouse really needs helps you to anticipate their needs, and that is a surefire way of making them feel like the most important person in your life.
No one marries someone just like themselves, and that’s a good thing. Being different from each other helps us complement one another and brings a healthy balance to marriage.
It is essential for you and your spouse to be reasonable in your wants as well as your needs. If each person in a marriage is focused on the needs of their partner, then neither person has to worry about having a "needy" spouse.
So take a deep breath and stop to consider, really think about, your spouse’s needs and take action. You just may leave your spouse wanting more, but not needing more.