Parents have learned a lot of lessons from life and in general should know what is best. Children, on they other hand, have not. They are learning life lessons for the first time as they grow up. Despite this, both children and parents have equal opportunity to learn and grow from each other and life.
Getting to know and love your child, working with your child and talking with your child are three different ways that you both can grow from the relationship. Children in many ways should be seen as equals in experiencing learning and growing through family life.
Get to know your child
Get to know your kid, and you will treat him as a real person — someone who has feelings and should be respected. Seeing your child as an individual also increases your love for him. Love has power for you to be more understanding but also to help encourage growth.
The book Emotional Coaching, teaches that when you respect your children, they will respect you. Children have every right to be listened to and for parents to really care what they do.
Growing up in my family, I worked for my father and his company. He paid me, but I was given responsibilities and in some ways was very equal to him in working as an adult would. This allowed me to see my father’s work ethic and to learn to work. I learned how to talk with my dad and we found easy commonality in building things as we helped each other out. This taught me the importance of work and of responsibility I have.
The book How Much is Enough says that working with your children is one of the best ways to combat overindulgence.
When setting boundaries you should talk with your kids and help establish rules together. This requires you to hear them out and listen. Listen to why they believe a rule should be set a certain way. As your kids help set family rules, they feel more accountable and responsible for keeping them because they set them.
The book Unconditional Parenting says setting rules together gives kids an opportunity to have a say. It shows you, as a parent, sincerely do care about what your kids think and do.
Children bring opportunities for growth as parents get to learn with them and also learn how to best raise them. Viewing children as equals allows you to grow with them and to learn from them. They have a perspective you don’t because of your past and you have a perspective they don’t because of your past. Talk with your children, work with your children, and love your children.
Hyrum is studying Child Development at Brigham Young University-Idaho. He loves studying development and what can be beneficial for children especially what can come from a family. He is the sixth child of seven. He hopes to continue studying social science and to help others understand the influence we all have.