A strong marriage results from teamwork tackling tasks together and handling all responsibilities as a partnership. However, there are times when one spouse may feel like he or she is running a one-man show. You seem to be doing all the housework, grocery shopping, getting the kids to school and more. When this happens, it is easy to become burnt out, exhausted and overwhelmed. Before you get to the point of giving up, you must delegate. Here are some suggestions to make the delegation process a little easier on you and your spouse.
1. Don’t be afraid to ask
While dating my husband, and even for the first few months of our married life, I did all I could to avoid asking for help. I wanted to prove to him that I was a capable woman and that I was smart and able to tackle any challenge. However, I ended up struggling, and I needed help more than ever. Instead of trying to do it all, I asked my sweet husband for help and delegated some responsibility to him. By asking for his help, he felt needed and appreciated. We also were able to spend more time together.
Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It shows that you value the other individual, and you appreciate his work. However, do not throw all of your tasks at your spouse, this is not what teamwork in marriage is all about.
2. Provide options
One secret to delegating is to provide choices. If you have household chores that need to be finished, but you still have to give the baby a bath, ask your spouse what he would prefer to do. By providing choices, it helps make the tasks more enjoyable and makes him more willing to help out at a later time.
3. Don’t send your spouse on a guilt trip
If your spouse is busy or turns you down every once in a while, don’t go ballistic on him or her and send him on a guilt trip. When you send your spouse on a guilt trip, she begins to build up feelings of resentment. Your spouse may already be exhausted and have a lot to deal with at work, school or in her other obligations. Be flexible and accept that you just may not be able to do it all.
4. Avoid dividing chores based on gender stereotypes
In many of my friends’ and family members’ homes, household responsibilities are based on gender stereotypes. For example, all cleaning, laundry, shopping and work with the children must be done by the woman, and all handiwork must be accomplished by the male. This doesn’t have to be. Women can use a screwdriver and a hammer. They can fix household items just as well as men, especially with many resources available such as YouTube and Google. Men can spend time changing diapers and making the bed in the morning. Do not ask for help with a task because of a related stereotype.
If you ask for help and your spouse obliges, be willing to return the favor. Marriage is a two-way street, and you can easily assist your spouse, just like he helped you. It isn’t fair if one spouse is always bending over backwards for the other. Be willing to help each other out at all times.
When you delegate and help each other out in a marriage, you create a closer bond. Feelings of love and appreciation are easier to surface, and some lost romance can more easily be rekindled.
Courtnie is an editor for FamilyShare.com and has a degree in journalism. She has a slight obsession with running, newspapers and large fuzzy blankets. She currently lives in Idaho with her husband and two sons.