Moms do some pretty crazy things, from texting in the bathroom to wolfing down half-eaten crackers. What may seem like abnormal behavior to most of the world is just another day in the life of a mommy.
In case there was ever any confusion, you might be a mom if…
You retreat to the bathroom for "me" time
Sometimes this might be a literal retreat, under a firestorm of Nerf darts. Bring your phone and a good book, because this is the only room in the house where you can justify using the locks.
Dressing up means changing into clean yoga pants
When you spend all morning getting a horde of kids clean, dressed and fed, fashion takes a back seat to function.
Speaking of the back seat...
Your car sports a permanent layer of unidentified grime
Was that once a lollipop? Or a Popsicle from last summer? Oh well, it's too covered in Cheerios dust for identification. Who cares anyway, you can barely see it under the sea of sports equipment.
The last book you read featured a hippo as the main character
In fact, you read the book 10 times. Consecutively. In the same night. If someone were to ask, you could quote the entire thing back verbatim.
You turn on the car stereo and get the Wiggles Greatest Hits blasted in your face
What's currently playing on the Top 10? How should you know? You do, however, know all the verses to Wheels on the Bus by heart and can sing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star in your sleep. In fact, you did it last night.
You haven't slept through the night since…wait, what were we talking about?
You make dazed and confused look good mommy! Rock those bags under your eyes. After all, they have to leave home eventually, and then you'll finally get some rest.
You've yelled, "Quit yelling at your brother!" at least once today
Do as I say, not as I do. OK?
You have no idea what got in your hair
Wishing for clean hair to match the clean yoga pants today? Good luck! You've been spit-up on, glitter-fied completing a forgotten school project and had little hands helping you make pancake batter — and it's not even 8:30 yet. Call the hairdo a bold fashion choice and move on.
You don't flinch at bodily fluids
So what if high school biology made you squeamish? You're totally cool with poop these days. As a matter of fact, you've been peed on, popped on, spit-up on or puked on more times than you can count — and you still keep the kids around.
You get what it means to love with your entire heart