Often times, married couples live in an unhappy marriage. They cannot find it in their hearts to separate because they are afraid of how it will affect their children. In a perfect world, every child lives with both parents who are deeply in love with each other. However, we live in a world where many children live with just one parent due to divorce.
Divorce isn’t bad if the husband and wife no longer can cohabit under the same roof. If the parents are unhappy, the kids are unhappy. If you and your spouse strongly feel dejected and know the love that once lived in both your hearts no longer exists, then maybe it is time to go your separate ways for the sake of your children.
Coming from a divorced home, I can imagine how a child may feel not having mommy and daddy together. It’s unpleasant. But, my parents divorcing never meant my dad divorced his children. He was always there for us. It felt as if he never left. My parents may have not gotten along, but they secured our happiness.
It’s difficult to explain to a child why parents separate or divorce. Depending on the age range, the child may or may not understand. Nevertheless, children deserve to live in a happy home — even if it means Mom and Dad are no longer a married couple.
. You both signed the divorced papers. Now it is time to move on. It is not easy. It wasn’t for my parents and it was not easy for me when I divorced several years ago. Though with time, the pain will ease and you will get back on track. Remember why the divorce had to take place and understand that things will get better — as long as you allow them to.
. Lean on close family members for moral support and to help you and your children emotionally and mentally. Welcome them into your lives. Slowly but surely, the broken pieces will mend.
. Never disrespect each other in front of the kids. If you do not agree with your ex about something, be civil. You do not want to show otherwise in front of your children. You want to continue providing them the best care and love you both can possibly offer.
. Divide the time accordingly, in which the parent who no longer lives at home can spend quality time with the children. Perhaps rotate weekends. Even though you are divorced, make an effort to participate together in your children’s activities such as sports and school plays.
. Children often blame themselves for their parents’ divorce. In turn, parents struggle to find an appropriate explanation to provide to their children as to why mommy and daddy had to break up. When the kids continue to feel guilty, perhaps it is time for counseling.
Remaining in an unhappy marriage where love no longer holds the two of you together can take a nasty turn and not only affect you, but your children. Acting as if you and your spouse continue to have feelings for one another is sending the wrong message to them. Your children deserve to be happy – and so do you.
Mayra Colón is a freelance writer, former independent author and avid reader. She holds a MBA from the University of Phoenix and completed the Freelance Writing and Selling Online course from Rutgers University of Arts and Sciences.