Too much drama? It might be you

Who me? I couldn't possibly be the source of all this drama — could I?

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  • Drama. Not "lights, camera, action!" drama, but more of an emotional drama that can escalate into something Jerry Springer worthy. High school cat fights, family trauma or miscommunication at its finest — we've all been involved in one way or another. Frequently, we hear people say that they don't want any more drama in their life. But, what causes drama? Is it some outside force or always someone else starting it? Or, could it possibly be you (gasp!)?

  • Possible causes of drama (non-professional evaluation may be necessary to diagnose)

  • Communication, or rather a lack of communication

  • The oft quoted gem of wisdom, "What we've got here is failure to communicate," (1967 film, Cool Hand Luke) about sums up one of the major sources of drama. Poor communication leads to many problems — misinterpreted intentions, poorly worded statements and hurt feelings. With texting, social media and more non-face-to-face communication, this epidemic is running rampant. If there needs to be a serious conversation, it is best to leave it off of Facebook, Twitter and text messages. Make a phone call or, better yet, talk face-to-face. There are so many vocal and physical cues that are a big part of effective communication (you can't misinterpret a punch to the face like you can speaking in ALL CAPS).

  • Being easily offended

  • Given that electronic communication is ineffective, we need to be less easily offended. Ask for clarification if needed. Give others the benefit of the doubt when communicating online or through text messages. Furthermore, even if someone is being mean-spirited online, we still have a choice whether or not to become hostile and verbally abusive. Just let it go and don't put more wood on the fire. The only warmth that comes from that is boiling blood.

  • Signs you may be a drama queen or king (tally up the ones that describe you — not your mother-in-law — for the results at the end):

    1. Despite how good your life is, you choose to find the negative things in life. It's kind of like complaining your beautiful rose has thorns.

    2. Someone always seems to be doing something to make you upset. They are out to get you — trying to make your life miserable and unbearable. How could they?

    3. You like to gossip about others — especially if it is none of your business and it is a really juicy story. Who doesn't love a good fictional tale to tell?

    4. You assume if someone hasn't talked to you for a while they hate you or are mad at you. Because, being silent always denotes hatred, right?

    5. Like Pig-Pen from the Charlie Brown comic who always has a cloud of dirt following him, you may be the cause of drama if a "cloud" of drama is always around you. You're always in the center of the "dirt."

    6. When something bad happens in your life, you can't wait to share it with everyone near and far. You play the sympathy card whenever and wherever possible. After all, it's never any fun to be miserable alone.

    7. Most — if not all — of your Facebook or Twitter updates are cryptic and vague statements against some anonymous (maybe even imaginary) person. This causes pandemonium in your friend lists. Everyone is trying to figure out if they are guilty of offending the "queen" and trying to avoid an "off with her head!"

    8. You always think you've made someone mad or offended someone. Of course, you're innocent. You make sure you apologize profusely, regardless. You kill them with kindness (and then go stab them in the back to make sure you got the job done).

    9. You are really nice to someone's face, but then say terrible things about her behind her back. Your "two-faces" ought to be slapped.

    10. You always assume that everything you hear is true, and then overreact. "The sky is falling!"

    11. If the glass is half-empty, life hands you lemons, it rains on your parade or you only get the pits out of peaches, you may be a drama seeking missile. You're waiting for an explosion to happen so you can spread ashes and burning embers over everything good in life.

    12. You may be the source of unnecessary drama if you habitually delete and "re-friend" people on Facebook. The deletion happens after they said something minor you did not agree with. It can only be assumed that you keep "re-friending" people because you were starving for more drama. Normal people just hide posts or people they don't want to see.

    13. A drama queen's life is generally full of "mole hills" under a very large magnifying glass that only they can see. They create a "mountain" out of nothing and commit to making sure everyone knows how bad their life is.

    14. Do you always find yourself saying, "I hate drama," as you are in the middle of dishing up more drama to serve everyone? Yep, you're a drama queen.

    15. "Why does everything bad happen to me?" "Why is everyone always picking on me?" "Why me?" Bad things happen to all people, but most people can just pick themselves up and move forward. Drama queens choose to wallow in sadness.

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  • How much drama am I?

  • How many of the points above described you?

  • 0-2

  • Pretty low drama. You just might be sane. Keep it that way.

  • 3-6

  • Take a chill-pill and relax.

  • 7-10

  • You're hot under the collar. Consider wearing an ice pack.

  • 11-15

  • Congratulations! You're a drama queen/king. Here's your crown (of thorns, of course).

  • Just say no to drama. If you're the source, try to see the positive instead of digging at the landfill. Improve your family life by leaving drama behind. Being offended and being a poor communicator are areas that can be improved. There is hope. Stay out of other people's business, don't gossip and try to focus on the good instead of bad in life. There is a difference between actually having a hard time in life and making it seem like your good life is really bad.

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Wendy is a regular contributor for familyshare.com and does media reviews. Website: https://survivorshopeandhealing.wordpress.com/ for victims of sexual abuse. Blog: https://wendyejessen.wordpress.com Twitter: @WendyJessen

Website: https://survivorshopeandhealing.wordpress.com/

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