Every so often, I am asked how my husband and I remain happy after many years of marriage, considering he is 17 years older than me and we do have our shares of ups and downs. My answer is very simple — we love and care for one another the same way we did when we first said, "I do."
When you first marry, everything from your honeymoon to your new home is bliss. But what happens when you are confronted with hardships? Do you immediately give up on the marriage without attempting a resolution, or do you put forward the love you have for one another as a guide to a triumphant outcome? I believe love is the answer. If you can overcome any hardship together, your marriage will become stronger and solid as time goes by.
Despite the bumps in a marriage, you are entitled to be happy and remain happy. If you consider the following rules, you will realize maintaining a happy marriage is not as hard as you may anticipate.
Is essential in all relationships. It’s difficult to be in a marriage if trust does not exist. Let’s say your spouse cheated on you in the past; and after much thought and consideration, you decided to give him another opportunity. However, you live life uneasy waiting for the same situation to occur again. Ask yourself why you gave him another chance in the first place. If it’s because of love, then you should give your spouse the benefit of the doubt and allow yourself to trust again. If you can’t trust the person you are married to, then the relationship is going to suffer.
Is an important component in a marriage. A marriage should not be one-sided. A marriage is about both parties participating in all decision making, sharing responsibilities and meeting in the middle when one party does not completely agree with the other. I can’t begin to explain how many times my husband and I have compromised, but we do it because it is what partners do.
Is critical in a marriage. I firmly believe communication keeps any relationship healthy and blissful. If something is bothering you about your spouse, work, kids or family, let him know. Do not be intimidated to speak your mind or to speak with the truth. Your spouse is your friend.
Is a must between you and your spouse. Respect each other’s personal space, opinions and belongings. For example, if you feel the need to search your spouse’s drawers, wallet and so forth, then obviously you do not trust him. If you sense your spouse is hiding something, communicate first. Your suspicions can very well be wrong and hinder the trust and respect established.
Is an important rule. Refrain from trying to change your partner to what you want him to be once married. If you accepted your partner the way he was before marriage, you should also accept your partner the same way once married.
One another contributes to a strong marriage. You may not see eye to eye on every subject matter, but listening to what your spouse has to say will help you understand where he is coming from.
Many people believe maintaining a happy marriage is a hard task, but it is not. It is only hard if you have lost the love for each other and have not come forward with the truth. As long as love exists, all things are possible. Whenever a difficult situation surfaces, do not falter. Simply hold on to the love that united the two of you in the first place, and work together to overcome tough issues you face.
Mayra Colón is a freelance writer, former independent author and avid reader. She holds a MBA from the University of Phoenix and completed the Freelance Writing and Selling Online course from Rutgers University of Arts and Sciences.