Weddings are delightful, especially when the couple shares their vows with the audience. Everyone wants the marriage to last forever and hearing the vows gives us all hope that the new couple will uphold their promises and work together to get a happily ever after.
We often think of the vow to have and to hold - we all sigh at how romantic it is that the couple will take care of each other and hold them in their arms (literally and figuratively). The ceremony gets even sweeter when the couple decides to write their own vows. Most couples work to make their vows as cute as possible or even slip in a joke or two.Through these vows, they want their soon-to-be spouse to know that they are loved and they're excited to spend the rest of their lives together.
But maybe couples should put more focus on what will actually make their marriage last forever. Here are seven wedding vows that actually aren't that romantic, but will make your marriage last.
1. I promise to not expect a 50/50 marriage
Marriage isn't a checklist or a score board. Marriage is about serving another person because you love them, not because you think that they're going to give you back things in return.
The most successful marriages are when couples give to each other without expectation. Favors aren't withheld, but are given freely without considering if their spouse "deserves it or not".
Essentially, this vow is promises to give and sacrifice for your spouse no matter what.
2. I promise to love you today instead of loving who I want you to be
Sometimes the hardest part of a marriage is seeing your spouse's shortcomings. Because you're sharing a life together, you sometimes see them fail to live up to their potential.
But marriage is about loving a person where they are at today. Of course you can encourage them to succeed, but your love shouldn't be based on an ideal image of who your spouse could be.
This promise does exactly that. Love your spouse for who they are - faults and all.
3. I promise to not make you responsible for my happiness
This vow seems almost like an insult, but in reality, it's a lovely promise that you will be independent people who will work together to make a happy marriage. Both parties are responsible for their own happiness and choices. It means that they can still find happiness together even after a fight.
This vow is important because it shows their spouse that they are willing to take responsibility for their own actions.
Unmet expectations ruin marriages if you let them. Sometimes we expect our spouse to be Superman. We expect them to be able to sense our emotions and thoughts from miles away, but in reality if you don't talk to your spouse, you can't expect them to know what you are thinking.
Communication with your spouse can help you get through almost anything -this is a promise to communicate clearly, work together and be realistic about what marriage is.
5. I promise to never complain about our marriage to friends, parents and social media
This is one of the most important promises a couple can make to each other. When you complain in anger you often end up saying things you don't mean, which leads to more problems.
Marriage can be hard, but this vow is a promise to keep concerns between you and your spouse, not the rest of the world.
6. I promise to protect our couple time from everyone, including our kids, work and friends
Couple time is one of the building blocks of a successful marriage (and my favorite marriage vow). Promise to spend time together even when time is hard to come by, when kids are in (or out) of the picture and when your jobs get in the way. This vow shows that you really want your marriage to last.
7. I promise to only say "I forgive you" when I actually mean it
Honesty is one of the most important vows a person can make. Though this seems like it would be tough not to hear your spouse forgive you right away, this promise shows that your spouse wants to be completely honest with you, no matter the circumstance.
Romance is a healthy part of any marriage, but if you really want your relationship to last, remember to be realistic and promise your spouse these seven vows.
Christa is a part time photographer, part time writer and full time lover of life. She loves eating chocolate chip cookies and singing (but not at the same time). She has her degree in political science.