How to be kind in a relationship without getting stepped on

Here are four ways to stay kind but still get the respect you deserve.

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  • You are a kind person. You live a kind life, but then in all your relationships, it seems that they are never kind to you. How is it possible that you can give so much kindness but not receive any? Where is the line? You don't want to become a mean person, but you do want respect from other people, especially your sweetheart.

  • Here are four things that will keep you kind and give you the respect you deserve:

  • 1. Share the decision-making process

  • You are not being kind when you are having your sweetheart make all the decisions. They never get to serve you if they are always choosing where to eat or what movie you're going to watch.

  • We need to change the conversation of what being kind means and what being passive means. Kindness is a quality that a person possesses, while passiveness is a lack of action or at times a refusal to act.

  • Share the burden of making decisions. Share your opinion and work together. They will feel of your kindness as you talk and listen to each other.

  • 2. Tell him when he's being a jerk

  • You don't have to be a jerk back to him in order to get more power in your life. Simply stop him from being a jerk to you. Tell him when you think his behavior is unacceptable. You have a right to tell him what you are thinking and feeling -especially if he has hurt you.

  • Bolde says, "Don't shrug it off thinking it will be different next time. It won't. Staying quiet about poor treatment will only make him think he can continue with it, so don't let him."

  • We need to remind people that being a jerk is not OK. You aren't being rude when you ask people to treat you with respect.

  • 3. Don't give into people's negativity

  • You do not need to be limited by others' negativity. If people don't want to do something or are constantly telling you bad thing, it's OK to walk away. You don't need to sacrifice your happiness to join people in negativity.

  • Now I'm not saying don't try to help people, but help those that want to be helped. You don't have to keep begging people to be happier if they are refusing to.

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  • You kindness can be shared with those that need upliftment, not by those who enjoy bringing others down. Look into service opportunities in your community to share your kindness (and maybe invite some of your negative friends to join in).

  • 4. Take a stand

  • Remember that you are in charge of your own life. When you let people walk over you, you are teaching others that it's OK to be disrespectful and rude. You have the right to your own opinions.

  • Again, remember there is a difference between being kind and passive. You are not being rude if you are sharing your opinions with others. People, but more importantly your sweetheart, will love when you share what you are thinking because they will be able to get to know you better.

  • Society is constantly telling us that we need to be politically correct all of the time, but then in our relationships we don't say anything when people are rude or disrespectful to us because we are being "kind" to them or we know they had a "hard day." In reality, we need to stop being passive and start being kind to ourselves.

  • Allowing for disrespect only increases our problems and lessens the strength of your relationship. So follow these four steps to stay kind and build a deeper relationship.

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Christa is a part time photographer, part time writer and full time lover of life. She loves eating chocolate chip cookies and singing (but not at the same time). She has her degree in political science.

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