Finding love is a glorious experience. But not all relationships are created equal. And sometimes, your other half can bring out the worst in you. If you're wondering why things seem to be going downhill now that you've got your guy, it might be your relationship that's actually poisoning you in these five ways:
1. You are jealous and possessive
Everyone wants to be proud of the person they're with. And knowing what a catch you have can be exciting and invigorating. But when that knowledge starts to breed insecurity, you may find yourself sailing down a dark path. If you run wild with fantasies of him cheating or accusations of flagrant flirting, your relationship is starting to poison your mind. Trying to keep your significant other home and away from the interested gaze of others is unhealthy. If you suspect every other woman wants your man and is trying to take him from you, you need to look in the mirror and find out what's going on within you.
Having a steadfast supporter who cheerleads your every move and gives constant positive feedback can actually backfire in the grand scheme of life. This boost in self-confidence can cause you to become harsh and judgmental toward others; especially those close to you. You can begin to overestimate your abilities and overvalue your own opinion; always believing you're right or have the best solutions while discounting what others think and feel.
On the other hand, a partner who is hard to impress or is constantly telling you what you could improve on can lead you to become overly critical of yourself. Instead of building intimacy and trust in an emotionally safe environment, this constant scrutiny leads to a relationship full of defensive criticizing.
3. You have more conflict in your life
Your relationship is not the best thing for your life if you've suddenly become more aggressive and defensive with the people who care about you. This is particularly dangerous when the source of the conflict is the relationship itself. Those around you want the best for you, so listen if they mention that your relationship might be the cause for the conflict in your life.
If your health is worse due to high stress after finding love, this relationship may literally be making you sick. Do not compromise your health for any reason. If a relationship is sucking up your time, energy and emotions, reevaluate your criteria for what makes a good relationship. You shouldn't feel drained, weakened or pressured when you're with the right person.
Giving up much of yourself to be in love is a sad reality for some. Ideally, you shouldn't have to give up who you are to be half of a couple. You should be able to bring your whole self to the relationship. Love can easily start to eat away at you when you compromise your values, beliefs, morals, goals, needs, health or life plan just to be with someone. And when you realize your partner probably hasn't given up nearly as much or isn't "paying back" the debt, resentment can start to set in and tear apart what you've built.
Love isn't easy, but it shouldn't create chaos either. When close friends and family start to question things, if you lash out and can't give a rational answer, you have some hard truths to consider. Even if you truly love them, don't trade in your self-esteem and let your health suffer all in the name of love.