20 things to say or ask your wife . . . instead

A handy list of things to never, ever, ever, ever say to or ask your stay-at-home wife and mother of your children and suggested alternatives.

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  • There are just some things that should never come out of a husband's mouth in the presence of the woman you love. They can contribute to the ruination of an otherwise potentially healthy relationship. If you have heard these questions or statements one too many times, take a deep breath. He loves you. He just needs some tweaking. Below is the list of commonly misspoken words followed by more suitable ones. See if you have fallen victim to any of these:

  • "Are you sure you want to wear that?"

  • Better: "You look more beautiful than the day we met." (Note: Her beauty comes from how she feels about herself. It's not about you.)

  • "What did you do all day?"

  • Better: "Oh, you poor thing. Those kids must have driven you crazy. Sit down, let me get you a cold drink. I'll order pizza."

  • "You know my mother always did it another way."

  • Better: "Don't ever tell my mother, but you do this so much better." (See: Matthew 19:5)

  • "Is it that time of the month?"

  • Better: "I can see that you're really upset. Is there anything else bothering you? What can I do?" (Note: Never, ever, ever, bring hormones into the equation.)

  • "You should stay home with the kids. You wouldn't enjoy yourself."

  • Better: "I think this is going to be boring, and there may not be many wives there, but I'd love to have you by my side if you want to go."

  • "You get the kids to bed, and then come down and catch the last half of the game with me."

  • Better: "Here's the remote. Let me get the kids down tonight. I can read about the game tomorrow. I love football, but I love you more."

  • "But I worked all day."

  • Better: "I work hard all day, but my job isn't 24 hours a day like yours. What can I do to pitch in?"

  • "I earn the money, so I have the final say on spending it."

  • Better: "What's mine is yours and what's yours is mine. You earn every dime I do by taking such good care of our family and our home."

  • "I invited some of the guys over tonight. I knew you wouldn't mind. Maybe you could scare us up some sandwiches."

  • Better: "Listen, I know you're tired. We'll hang in the basement and stay out of your hair."

  • "The kids are your job. You need to figure out how to handle them when they're rotten."

  • Better "You're right. We need to sit down and sort this out together. They are my kids, too. We'll figure it out."

  • "I've made the decision, and that's final."

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  • Better: "We need to talk this out until we both agree. We are equal partners with equal votes."

  • "You're so lucky to have me."

  • Better: "You are such a blessing to me."

  • "Look, you need to just suck it up and get over it."

  • Better: "I can see you are really troubled. I'm here to listen. Is there anything I can do?"

  • "Where's dinner? Why isn't it ready? I'm starved."

  • Better: "Uh-oh, the kids must have given you a run for your money today. Which would you prefer? Fast food or me cooking?"

  • "I'm going to grab a quick shower and nap before dinner."

  • Better: "I'd love a shower and a nap, but you look like you could use it more. Why don't you let me take over for half an hour and then I'll go."

  • "I got a raise. Now I'm going to buy that motorcycle."

  • Better: "You earned this raise just as much as I did. Let's talk about what to do with it."

  • "Look! I brought home a new puppy. The kids will be so excited."

  • Better: "The kids want a puppy, but I realize that you will ultimately be responsible for a lot of the work. Would you entertain the idea?"

  • "My job is so stressful. I feel like I never get a break."

  • Better: "I know how stressful my job is. I can't imagine how you do yours all day every day. I want you to know how much I appreciate all that you do."

  • "Hey, if you're going to the kitchen anyway, can you make me a sandwich and bring me a soda?"

  • Better: "I'm going to go make a sandwich. Can I bring you anything?"

  • "Where are my socks (pants, phone, briefcase, watch, book or keys?)"

  • Better: "Listen, I know they aren't your responsibility, but in all your hard work around here, have you come across my socks? I'm afraid I misplaced them."

  • Ladies, enjoy your men. As stressful as they can be, at least you have one. Chances are, he adores you regardless of his sometimes thoughtless questions and blank statements. Print this out and have him read it. Again and again.

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Becky Lyn is an author and a 35+ year (most of the time) single mom.

Website: http://www.beckytheauthor.weebly.com

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