5 key factors to know if your man is 'the one' and not just another one

Not sure if you've found 'the one' or not? Here are five key factors to put to the test.

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  • Most people think when they find "the one," they will just know. There will be some kind of feeling or confirmation that will tell them this person is different - that this person is their soul mate. But for most people, it doesn't work like that. It can be hard to know if this person is truly someone they can be with forever, or if they are just a temporary companion. So how do you know if your man is "the one" or just another one? Here are five signs to look out for:

  • 1. You are ready

  • One key to finding "the one" is the fact that you are ready to find him. You're in a place in your life where you know if you were to find the right person, you will be ready to settle down with him. If you are not quite in that place, and you happen to find a really great guy, you may pass up on spending forever with him because you know you're not ready. It doesn't mean he won't wait for you until you are, or that you won't find another great guy once you are ready. It just means odds are you will not find your "one" until you are ready to commit.

  • 2. You have similar goals

  • A great way to know if you have found "the one" is if you can logistically be together long-term. Having similar goals can be a big factor in this process. If his goal is to live in a mansion on the beach, but you're a cabin in the woods type girl, you may run into problems. Not every goal has to be the same, but you should at least agree on some basic decisions. Make sure to talk about your future and see if you both have similar ideas about kids, lifestyles, religion and living situations. If one or two don't match, you most likely can work it out, but if you're on totally different pages, he may not be your "one."

  • 3. You bring out the best in each other

  • Being with someone who brings you down or doesn't believe in you can wear on you and cause long-term effects that may be hard to overcome. Being in a relationship with someone who challenges you and encourages you to go for your dreams, no matter how big or outrageous they seem, is someone you go far with. You may not always agree with the advice or ideas your guy suggests, but if he has your best interest at heart, he is doing it to make you a better person, and that is worthy of making him "the one."

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  • 4. You love him

  • Let's not forget about love. I'm not talking about the attraction kind of love; I mean the "would do anything for him, cannot imagine your life without him" type of love. The difference between love and infatuation is that infatuation will wear off, but love will not. It means that even when you are fighting with him, you are willing to let go of your pride and dismiss the problem. It means that you sacrifice your own wants and desires for him. Maybe it's something small like doing an activity you don't enjoy, or it could be something big like supporting him through school. Whatever it is, even if you don't enjoy it, you do it for him, because his happiness means more to you than your own. Of course, when it comes to finding "the one," it's not only you who needs to love him, but he needs to have that same kind of love for you in return.

  • 5. You realize there is not only one "one"

  • Something to consider is there is not just one perfect person for you in this world; there could be several. Can you imagine trying to find that one perfect person for you in a world with over seven billion people in it? Making a relationship work is more about humility, love, kindness and friendship than it is about being blissfully happy all the time. While the notion of soul mates is very romantic, it is not realistic. You may pass up several amazing guys who you could build a future with, because you didn't get that cosmic connection you thought you should have. If you're feeling unsure about the person you're with and find yourself still looking for the right guy, then he is probably not right for you. It is not until you find someone who you can legitimately see yourself spending a lifetime with that you should consider him being your "one."

  • If you have struggled with finding the guy for you, don't lose hope. Perhaps you have looked too hard for someone to check all your boxes. While spending forever with someone is a big commitment you should take seriously, if you are too picky, you may lose out on a lifetime of happiness and love with a really great guy because you were set on finding "the one." Put those notions aside and consider the basics listed above. It may help you realize you've already found "the one," and it's time to let him know!

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Megan Shauri graduated with a bachelors in anthropology and a masters in psychology. She is a mother of twins.

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