The dating period is so important. Not only do you get to know each other better, but you get to know each other's personality and character. Many women claim they don't see their husband's negative characteristics before they get married, and that's why so many people are dissatisfied in their marriage.
Knowing some of these characteristics beforehand can save you from a marriage to a person you don't actually want to be with:
Dishonesty can often be found through subtle actions, like when he takes advantage of you or when he tells a little white lie. Some people don't even pay attention to the harm they could cause others through their lies, and it's important to see that in a person before you get in a relationship or marriage with them. If you've seen him lie to and manipulate others, you can be sure he'll do the same to you.
If he often makes comments that diminish and humiliate you, even if he does it jokingly, be extremely careful. It could even lead to emotional abuse. According to Huffington Post, "Your emotionally abusive partner is far more invested in tearing you down and keeping you down. He really doesn't want you feeling good about yourself. If you do, you might realize you could do better elsewhere."
Some men love to flirt with every woman they come in contact with. This attribute can be deadly to a relationship. When a man treats a woman he doesn't know as an object, he won't treat his wife with respect either.
An insecure man wants to control his woman and keep her as close as possible. He doesn't want to lose her, so he might go to unhealthy lengths to keep her close. He may even disguise it as excessive messages and phone calls because he wants to chat, but he really wants to keep you under his control. Also, be careful if he's always dissatisfied with your victories. He shouldn't be intimidated by your success, and neither of you will be happy if he is.
Some men are lazy and want a woman to rely on. Men who want everything handed to them are often mean and demanding. Look for a man who can support himself and is grateful when you do something kind for him.
The same routine day in and day out can get boring. Although your man thinks marriage would be boring, he doesn't do anything to fix it. Be careful if he does absolutely nothing to make your relationship exciting, because it'll stay the same once you're married. It's easy to look like you're having a good time and your relationship is awesome, but you can't deny what you feel if your relationship is awful.
These bad habits all have certain levels, and they're extremely common. Now that you know what the problems are, you can have a better idea on how to fix it or evaluate it.
Suely is a conflict counselor, an educator and has a MBA in Strategic People Management. She's the host of the program "Deixa Disso," which offers relationships advice. She has also published two books, “Uma fênix em Praga” and, “Mediando Conflitos no Relacionamento a Dois”.