4 ways to save a sexless marriage

There may come a day when the desire to be intimate with your spouse just isn’t there anymore. Your spouse convinces himself that it has something to do with him, but that may not be the case.

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  • There are various reasons a marriage lacks sex. Long hours at work, long distance relationships, children or depression. Moreover, lack of sex does not mean the marriage is diminishing. The love still exists, but there are situations that are causing you and your spouse to intimately drift apart.

  • Some reasons for a couple to sexually drift apart could be: Some women feel uncomfortable with their bodies after giving birth. Or both parties are working late hours and by the time they arrive home, the energy to make love isn’t there anymore. For some, children consume most of their time and energy. Each couple has their specific reasons. Nevertheless, do not give up on your marriage because sex has gone from every day to every other day to once in a while to not at all. As long as the love is strong between the two, make an effort to rekindle the intimacy you once shared.

  • Below are four suggestions on how to save sex in your marriage:

  • Communicate

  • Keeping the lines of communication open is essential to a resolution. The thought of bringing up the topic can be intimidating for fear of hurting your spouse’s feelings. Try to put those fears aside and approach your spouse. Calmly and respectfully explain how you feel, and offer ideas on how to resolve the lack of sex in the marriage. Let your spouse know that he or she is not the reason you do not want to have sex.

  • Date night

  • Make time for the two of you. Set a time after work or during the weekend in which you and your spouse can run away together. Go for a romantic dinner or a romantic walk and treat your date as if it was your first date ever.

  • Rekindle the intimacy

  • Remember the things that were said and done when you first met each other? Maybe it was taking romantic walks, holding hands, whispering sweet things to one another, running your hands through each other’s hair or kissing as the sun set. Once you recall those special moments, try reenacting those moments again and build from there. If you are involved in a long distance relationship, send romantic cards through the mail or text sweet messages.  Here are 5 ways to enhance intimacy in your marriage.

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  • Seek a sex counselor

  • This may sound embarrassing. As a married couple, you may not feel comfortable speaking to a complete stranger about your sex life. However, speaking to a professional can actually help pinpoint the root of the problem. The sex counselor can guide you in the direction you need to rekindle the intimacy and lovemaking in your marriage.

  • Lack of sex in a marriage does not mean the love between the two no longer exists. It means both of you need to find ways to rekindle the attraction between the two. Treat every day as if it was the first day you fell in love with one another. Here are some ideas on how to show love to your husband.

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Mayra Colón is a freelance writer, former independent author and avid reader. She holds a MBA from the University of Phoenix and completed the Freelance Writing and Selling Online course from Rutgers University of Arts and Sciences.

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