It is difficult to open up to a new relationship after you have been hurt. For example, after a divorce, you may struggle with the idea of welcoming love into your life again. The fears of pain begin to resurface the moment you contemplate another relationship and you may become paralyzed from moving forward. I know the feeling all too well. Following a grueling divorce, I was completely against marriage. But as one wise woman said to me, time heals all pain. And she was right. A couple of years later, I welcomed love into my life again.
Being hurt is an unbearable feeling. You convince yourself that true love does not exist and no one will love you the way you deserve. You are prepared to throw in the towel and shut down from any possibilities of love again. It's only natural to feel those sentiments but, the harsh reality is, a failed relationship is not the end of the world. The failed relationship was not meant to be.
Below are five suggestions on welcoming love in your life again:
You must accept the reality that the relationship is over. Holding on to a failed relationship will never allow you to move forward and find true love. Take as much time as you need to evaluate the past relationship. Revisit the good and the bad and understand why the relationship had to end.
2. Allow yourself time
Do not rush into another relationship. If you do, you are only using the new person to cover up a broken heart. It is not fair to you or the other person. The other person may be invested in a relationship based on false pretenses. Therefore, give yourself the time necessary to be alone before stepping into a brand new relationship.
3. Enjoy single life
Being single is a wonderful thing. You will learn more about yourself. You begin to have fun with family and friends. The time you spend alone will help you gain a better understanding of what type of relationship you truly desire.
4. Date again
Once you have taken the necessary amount of time to grieve and accept the relationship is over, go out. Do not hesitate to meet other people. Do not settle for the first person you set your eyes on, but give yourself the opportunity to explore and meet the right person.
When you finally accept love in your life again, treat the new relationship as what it is - a new relationship. It's not a good idea to start comparing your new partner with your old partner. Do not find reasons to find something wrong with your new partner simply because you are afraid that the new relationship will also fail. Embrace the new relationship with an open-mind and optimism.
Moving forward sounds easier said than done, but you owe it to yourself to love and be loved again. You should not have the mentality that the next relationship will end in despair. Enter the new relationship with an open mind and heart. Remember, a new relationship is a new beginning.
Mayra Colón is a freelance writer, former independent author and avid reader. She holds a MBA from the University of Phoenix and completed the Freelance Writing and Selling Online course from Rutgers University of Arts and Sciences.