When you and your sweetheart made the decision to be married, you imagined the perfect life together. You refused to listen to warnings that marriage would take work. You knew that, but you also knew it would all be worth it. You two are so in love, you can make anything work.
But even for two people who are deeply in love, unhealthy habits can develop, making marriage more difficult than you ever imagined. Here are eight toxic habits that can destroy a marriage:
1. Sharing too much information about your marriage
There's absolutely nothing wrong with talking about your marriage with your friends. But when you start sharing the intimate details of your private life, you shake the trust you should share with your husband. If he knows you're sharing details with your friends, he won't feel comfortable opening up with you.
There are several studies that show the harmful effects that can arise from using pornography. Even the occasional use can lead to a much more damagingaddiction.
While the occasional usage might not seem like it's doing much harm to your relationship, you're treading in dangerous waters.
3. Avoiding an argument
Some couples are so afraid to argue with each other, worried that an argument means the love you share is weak. But doing just that causes problems - don't be afraid to argue with each other. Be honest with how you feel and don't be afraid to state your opinion, even if you two disagree. Having an argument means you two are comfortable enough to be completely open and honest with each other.
4. Getting jealous
You shouldn't ever feel the need to tell your darling what they can or can't do (or where they can or can't go). This demonstrates a lack of trust in your relationship. You should trust your sweetheart to make their own decisions, with you in mind. They love you, and they want to make you happy. If you place restrictions on your spouse out of mistrust and jealousy, they're going to eventually become resentful and secretive.
Jealousy isn't cute. If you want your honey to trust you when you hang out with friends, you should be able to do the same for them.
5. Not dating
I recently watched a video about a couple who got a divorce simply because the husband was frequently gone and they didn't feel like they knew each other anymore.
When you and your husband grow comfortable with each other, it can be easy to slip into more casual habits. But you two are constantly growing and changing, and it's important that you are always getting to know each other.
Settling in and watching a movie together occasionally isn't a bad thing, but you two should be doing more than just that. Getting married doesn't mean the excitement of dating has to go away.
6. You lose your independence in your relationship
When you two said "I do," you promised to become two parts of one whole. You both complete each other - that's how a relationship should be. However, this shouldn't invalidate you as an individual.
While your relationship should be your priority, you should also be able to have a life outside of it.
7. Giving gifts as a solution to a problem
Giving your sweetie a gift in an attempt to silence an issue only causes more problems. While it might make your sweetheart happy for a time, the problem will keep coming back. Instead, face your problems head-on so you can move on - even with a box of chocolates and bouquet of flowers, no one wants to have the same argument time and time again.
Everyone has their own way of seeing the world. You and your honey are bound to run into differences, so learn now to be open-minded and listen to their perspective.
Sometimes people have a bad habit of responding instead of just listening. Before you think of how to respond, focus all your attention on listening to what your partner has to say. It'll be easier to face disagreements and any other obstacle that comes your way.
As you two work to have respect for each other - differences and all - you're going to be happier and more in love.
As you and your honey make the effort to cut these toxic habits from your relationship, you're on your way to having an even happier, healthier relationship. You'll be able to conquer any storm that comes your way, and come out even stronger for it.
Emily Brady is a member of the FamilyShare content team. She studied Communication with an emphasis in journalism. She loves photography and finding a good book to read in her hammock on a sunny, breezy day.