Your husband has these 6 needs. Are you fulfilling them?

Do you actually know what your husband's needs are? You might be surprised to hear about what he's not telling you.
  • Society has so many expectations for husbands. They must be strong yet sensitive, be leaders but not overbearing, be providers (whether physically or emotionally) for their children and allow their wives to be the same, be masculine yet not misogynistic, be driven in their work yet not neglect their families. Sometimes society may trick wives into forgetting to let their husbands just be human. If your man has difficulty expressing his needs, this list may give you some insight into how to be a better wife to him. Your husband may just need ...

  • ... to feel appreciated

  • Every one of these ideas is a two-way street. While you may be able to tell your husband you need to hear him tell you he loves you more often or that he thinks you're a great mother or wife, he may feel constrained by society's expectations or his own stoic nature to stay silent.

  • Do you know in what ways your husband can feel your appreciation the most? If you're at a loss, try taking the 5 Love Languages test together. You could both learn something new about each other.

  • ... some time to himself

  • Just like you, your husband needs to have some alone time to reconnect with himself, wind down and relax. What does your husband like to do? If he's been stretching himself too thin, encourage him to take some time to recharge, whether it's going out with his friends, watching sports or getting a massage. The bonus is that when you remind him to take care of himself, he'll be more capable of helping you take care of yourself.

  • ... you to like yourself

  • Of course your husband believes you are beautiful, amazing person, so it can be painful to them when you don't feel the same about yourself. Try to see yourself through his eyes. But on the flip side, don't rely on him as the basis of your self-esteem.

  • "If you are using him to feel OK about yourself, it will never be enough and you will constantly be in search of the next boost," according to Jill P. Weber, Ph.D., in an article for Psychology Today. "In addition, there is typically a correlation between how much women are unaccepting of themselves and their tendency to criticize and hyper-control the man in their life."

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  • When you're more accepting of yourself and your own flaws, you'll likely find yourself more accepting of your spouse, as well.

  • ... to feel handsome

  • This may be the last thing your husband will admit (or the first, depending on his personality), but he likes to know you're attracted to him. Nothing boosts a man's confidence like the knowledge that his wife finds him attractive.

  • Is there something about his appearance he feels insecure about? Encourage him to spend some time at the gym or accompany him to a spa. Let him get some new clothes that are especially flattering. You'll both appreciate the effort.

  • ... to be allowed to make mistakes

  • Men aren't perfect, but they may sometimes feel the same pressure women feel to avoid even the appearance of error. The pressure to constantly outperform themselves at the workplace or at home can be intense. If you can see the strain is getting to your husband, take him aside and let him know he doesn't need to take the weight of the world on his shoulders. While you appreciate his desire to do everything for your family, you need him to take care of his own mental health, as well.

  • ... intimacy

  • Sex is a crucial part of the marriage relationship for both husband and wife, but it may be especially important to men. "Once the sex goes, so many other problems follow," said Dr. Geoff Hackett, an expert on sexual medicine and former chairman of the British Society for Sexual Medicine.

  • "It has also been proven that couples - especially men - will live longer, happier lives if they remain in a steady, loving relationship. There is no doubt that a healthy sex life is one of the most important factors in a thriving and successful marriage."

  • The key is having an honest conversation with your husband about what his needs are. You might be surprised at what you don't know about him.

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Katie Nielsen received her bachelor's in English with an emphasis in technical writing. She has taught English and is a published writer.

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