"That's because you don't know how to play the game."
I overheard someone say this and asked myself, "What game?" Apparently there's a game we need to play to fall in love or keep the man we've already given ourselves to. In our eagerness to have the mister of our dreams, we make these five mistakes that actually turn him away.
1. We complain
Whether your relationship is just beginning or you've been in it for quite some time, one big mistake women make is complaining. We don't feel like we're receiving the attention we deserve, so we think it gives us the right to complain.
But complaints never help anything. When you first meet someone, you put your best foot forward to win him over. But when the two of you get more comfortable with each other, insecurity takes over and the complaints start to pile up.
This makes a woman look needy and desperate. While it's natural to want things to progress and improve, complaining is not the way to achieve those goals. Quickly, the relationship which began as a fairy tale now turns into a horror movie.
2. We try to get attention
In our desperation to get the relationship back to the way it was in the beginning, we get a little desperate. You tried complaining and it didn't work. If anything, it put more distance between the two of you. Now, you try to do whatever you can to get his attention.
You "accidentally" send texts just to start a conversation and have an excuse to talk, or you go places he usually goes in hopes of running into him. You become a bundle of nerves and insecurities, unlike the confident person you were at the beginning.
3. We make up stories
Jealousy is a monster, and it rears its ugly head in a new relationship. We start imagining things and making up stories, convincing ourselves our new man is cheating. In return, we try to make him jealous.
You think if you can manage to make him jealous, he'll go crazy for you. Whether you're pretending to be busy with a friend or flirting with your aerobics instructor, you want to make him think you're with another man so he gets jealous and wants to be with you.
Instead, be direct with your man instead of making him guess what you're feeling and thinking. If he's having doubts about why he fell for you, talk through them and show him the real you, not that jealous monster.
4. We change
Women also tend to mold themselves into something we think would be his "dream girl." You think you know exactly what he wants, so suddenly, you love his favorite football team. You love the places he loves, so you go there often. You love wearing flannel just like him, so you update your entire wardrobe. In the process, you destroy the real you and leave him with a desperate copycat.
The most important thing you can do is to be true to yourself. When you try to be anything else, the relationship is bound to fail because someday, he'll see the real you or you'll get tired of pretending to be something you're not. You deserve someone who loves you for you, so don't change yourself for a man.
5. We despair
If you think the relationship is ending, it's normal to be sad and worried. It's a confusing time, and while you might say you don't care if things end, deep down you know it's tearing you apart. You dwell on the question of whether or not things would have been different if you had done something differently.
If thing are officially over, it's fine to have a period of mourning, but don't throw in the towel too soon. It's OK to fight for your love - a man isn't going to want to stick around if he sees you give up easily.
When it comes to dating (and just life itself), remember to trust yourself, your courage and know that your worth is great. Don't change yourself or doubt yourself. Have patience, and the man you're truly supposed to be with will love you for who you truly are.