As she expressed her desire to read, she was reprimanded. As she expressed her interest in the Internet, she was rebuked. As she longed for freedom, she was denied. This is the real-life situation of a young married woman in Afghanistan. As I listened to her story, my heart broke for this woman. Though Western and Eastern cultures are completely different, I believe the principles that build up and strengthen an individual are the same everywhere you go. To build up your spouse you must allow them to have the freedom to make decisions, you must forgive mistakes, offer sincere encouragement and express your unconditional love.
In the article, 4 reasons to never say no to your spouse, we learn that refusing or denying a request from your spouse can be hurtful. No matter what your culture, religion or background, we all long for the freedom to make our own decisions. One way to build up your spouse is to give them that freedom. When your spouse shares his or her desires, listen and do your best not to set up roadblocks. Each of us is unique; we all have different likes and desires. Having the freedom to experience life is vital for personal growth. Give your spouse the freedom to explore his interests.
Do not let yesterday’s mistakes put a damper on today’s opportunities. Whatever the challenges that happened yesterday, leave them there. Whatever mistakes you or your spouse made, forget about them and move forward with the new day. To continually bring up mistakes or failures from the past is like opening up a healed wound. We must learn from our mistakes and push ahead.
The best way to destroy your partner is through unkind words, criticism and doubting her abilities. Encourage your spouse to accomplish her goals. As you offer support to your companion, she will be more willing to open up and share those deeper and more significant desires of the heart. Never tell your partner, “You can’t…you’re not capable…you don’t know how…” The truth is, your spouse is fully capable to learn and accomplish anything. Do not let your doubts and fears limit your spouse.
Love is a passionate feeling; a fire of affection for someone. When you love your spouse, you want them to be happy. You want to sacrifice for them, and you want to serve them. True love will make it easy for you to put the needs of your spouse above your own. It is this powerful feeling that can, and should, exist in your marriage. When this love exists in your home, there will be no stopping the personal, spiritual and emotional growth that will flourish in your family. Love your spouse and help build her up, not destroy her.
As your spouse expresses a desire to succeed, listen. As he shares his goals, encourage him. As she shares her fears, reassure her. When your spouse fails, extend your love. When your spouse succeeds, offer praise and admiration. Life is too short to waste even a moment. Never discourage your companion with your own doubts and fears. Believe in your spouse by giving her freedom, forgiveness, encouragement and love.