How to lift your sweetheart up when they're feeling down

For those days when your loved one really needs some support and comfort.

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  • We all have our down days. No matter how happy your spouse is with their life and relationship with you, they'll feel down in the dumps every once in a while. When those days hit, it's important to be there for them and do all that you can to lift their spirits.

  • An old Irish Proverb says, "Thee lift me and I'll lift thee, and we'll ascend together."

  • These wise words should guide all marital relationships. Spouses should focus on lifting each other up throughout their married lives. When that pattern is established, both partners will rise together in a great relationship.

  • Though my own marriage is still pretty young, my husband and I have seen each other go through some rough times. When I've felt particularly down, he senses it immediately and wants to do anything he can to cheer me up. When I needed to vent, he was all ears. When I needed to feel comforted, he'd pick up some burgers and shakes and watch a movie with me. The most important thing I've learned from his example is: be willing to do anything to lift your loved one up when you see them feeling down.

  • So whenever you see your spouse having a bad day, it's important to be there for them as a listener, supporter, comforter and cheer-upper.

  • Listener

  • Sometimes, your spouse doesn't want you to solve their problem. They simply want you to be a silent listener as they explain or vent about what they're going through.

  • Go to your sweetheart and say, "Tell me how you're feeling. I'm all ears." Let them talk for as long as they need and be attentive. (We all know how talking through pressing matters helps you find relief). Just with your silent attention, you'll lighten their load and lift them up.

  • Even when I stubbornly want to keep my thoughts and emotions bottled up, my husband lovingly lets me know that he's always there to hear me out whenever I'm ready. His invitation encourages me to open up - it's amazing how relieving it is to have a partner who's there to listen.

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  • Supporter

  • If your spouse is down because they feel like a failure, you need to be there to remind them how great of a person they really are. They're probably frustrated with themselves; as their partner, support them and encourage them to keep moving forward. Remind your darling of their past achievements and help them see that a small mistake or failure is just a bump in the road to their success.

  • A while back, I felt like the biggest failure when I received a rejection letter from a college major I had applied for. My husband was 100% supportive of me and refused to let me believe that one rejection meant I had failed at life (even though it felt that way in the moment). He fervently helped me see that there were so many other options I could excel at. Because of his support, I tried applying again (this time to a different major) and ended up loving it even more than the one I had initially applied for.

  • Comforter

  • Sometimes, your spouse just needs physical and verbal comfort. Pull them in a hug and squeeze them tight. Tell them how amazing they are and how grateful you are to have them. Snuggle up close and tell them how much you love them.

  • When I've clammed up and don't feel like talking, my sweetheart will pull me into a tight, long hug. With his arms holding me, my depressing feelings seem to melt away.

  • Cheer-upper

  • If you can sense your sweetheart just needs something small to feel happy again, be their cheer-upper. Put on a funny show, take them out to do something fun or do an at-home activity they love.

  • I love hiking, so just recently when I was feeling moody, my husband literally dragged me out of bed and told me to put on my hiking shoes. We drove to a trailhead and hiked to a gorgeous waterfall, and I realized my mood had turned a complete 180. My sweetheart knew exactly what I needed - a little push out the door to a trailhead. It's important to have a few specific ideas in your tool belt of what would cheer your spouse up when they're feeling down.

  • As your darling's spouse, you know what they need most when they're feeling blue. They might need a supporter, a listener or all four at the same time. The most important part is to be willing to do anything you can to lift your spouse up.

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McKenna Park is a staff writer at FamilyShare. She's a happy wife, puppy mama, ice cream addict and film nerd. Website: www.mckennapark.weebly.com

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