Little lies like "I'm on my way" are pretty harmless. But there are other little lies that mean big business in your life. These lies can seem insignificant but are very powerful. They can say a lot about how you feel about yourself or someone else. They can also be used as a place holder or time saver. But in the end they can really cost you in life and love. So here are 5 lies you need to unlearn right now.
1. "I'm fine"
No, you're not. This is the go-to lie of anyone who doesn't feel like explaining themselves. More often than not you are far from fine when you say, "I'm fine." What you're really saying is, "I'm trying to be fine. I want to be fine. I'm upset. I'm hurt. I'm sad. I'm scared. But I'm totally not fine."
You really need to trust someone to spill your guts to. But that's what friends, and family, is for. Follow-up to this salient admission with, "I could use some support. That will help me actually be fine."
Yes, you do. It might be embarrassing to admit you still have an emotional investment in a situation that is dead, dying or toxic. But being honest with yourself will help you be honest with others. Your friends and family may not respond well to an honest statement like, "It really bothers me." But if you back it up with "But I know things are the way they should be," or "I know it's for the best," you can avoid some eye rolls and head shakes. You care right now but you will be okay, eventually.
3. "I'm over it"
Are you really? Or do you want to be? If you're just angry, offended and defensive it will seep through a tough exterior. Holding grudges is unhealthy for your mind and body. But letting bad behavior go and moving forward without processing it can be harmful too. Being "over" something means you acknowledge what happened and understand your feelings about it. You can then accept your decision to move on with or without someone, or something. When you're really over it it holds no weight over you.
4. "I don't know"
Are you sure? Trust your gut. If you feel something is brewing, investigate. If your partner is being distant, find out why. If you're not being kept in the loop, make some calls. Be proactive in your life and make things happen. Don't let your life happen to you.
But what are you doing? Trying means you're putting in work to get what and where you want. Thinking about things is only the first step. Planning is a good follow-up. But then you need follow-through. You need to do. Keep a checklist of whatever you're working toward and make sure to mark it off regularly. If you are truly trying you should have a record of your steps for success.
Sometimes it's easier to hide your feeling or your faults than admit something deeper is going on. You have to trust your own feelings to trust another person with them. You must be honest with yourself and be honest with others.
Looking to the future and coming from where you'd like to be is an encouraging mental exercise. But it can lead you to living a less than genuine life. Don't get used to holding in or denying your true feelings. Be open and let your support system support you through hard times.