How to forgive yourself when nothing goes right

What is there to say when everything is going wrong?

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  • You're the one who has it all together, right? At least, you're supposed to have it all together. But recently, things just haven't been going the way you hoped. You're not where you thought you'd be by now.

  • And you blame yourself.

  • If you had just worked a little harder, tried a little more or just done something different then things would have turned out differently. They would have turned out better.

  • But that's where you're wrong. It's not your fault life didn't go the way you planned. Here are a six things to remember when you're stuck blaming yourself:

  • 1. You're doing the best you can

  • You know you're working hard because you know how tired you are. It's natural to be hard on yourself, but you need to think about all the good you've done too, because it far outweighs the mistakes you've made. Life is hard sometimes but that doesn't mean you're weak or lazy. It means you're strong.

  • 2. You can't change the past

  • This might sound harsh, but it's a reminder that you can only move forward, so why drag the past around with you? The past is meant to stay behind you, so let's keep it there. It's natural to still hurt from what happened but the longer you relive the pain, the longer it will stay around. Focus on the here and now and use the past as something to learn from, not something to weigh you down.

  • 3. You have so many people who love you

  • Your friends and family love you so much. They see how hard you work and they are grateful for it. Don't be afraid to ask them for help - that's what they're there for. Remember: you need to serve others just as much as you need others serve you.

  • 4. You're stronger than you know

  • I used to be such a scaredy-cat. I was afraid of heights, big dogs, hiking and anything else that could end with scars and broken bones. But then I made some friends who loved taking what I considered risks. Whenever I was afraid to do something for the fear of getting myself hurt, my friends would remind me that I'm "stronger than [I] know." Their support got me out of my comfort zone and I was able to discover how tough I really am.

  • Take yourself out of your comfort zone to realize how strong you are. Use your trials to prove your strength, even if it's just to yourself. It's pretty satisfactory doing something you never dreamed you would be strong enough to do.

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  • 5. This will pass

  • Sometimes, when you're stuck in the middle of a rough time, it's hard to imagine that it will ever end. It's hard to imagine that the pain won't last forever. But it won't. Take heart in the saying "it's always darkest before the dawn." The sun will rise soon and you'll come out even better than before.

  • 6. It's OK to take a break

  • You've been working hard. The human body and brain can only take so much before it's time to take a breather. It's OK to take a spa day. It's OK to take time for yourself. Don't feel guilty for needing to take a break.

  • You can't expect to have it all together all the time. No one else expects you to! You are so strong for doing all that you do. Be gentle with yourself and remember to think of these pieces of advice next time you start blaming yourself.

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Emily Brady is a member of the FamilyShare content team. She studied Communication with an emphasis in journalism. She loves photography and finding a good book to read in her hammock on a sunny, breezy day.

Website: https://emilyaftonbrady.wordpress.com/

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