5 ways you are unknowingly smothering the spark in your marriage

Intentional or not, these behaviors drive your husband away from you.

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  • In most cases, divorce is unpleasant. Sometimes divorce is necessary, but other times it can be avoided if both parties desire to save their marriage. In a study done by Pennsylvania State University, the top reasons men listed for divorce was incompatibility, infidelity, lack of communication and personality problems.

  • Many of these causes for divorce can be avoided if both men and women desire to improve themselves for the sake of their relationship. Husbands, you can find out ways you might be pushing your wife to divorce, but wives, this article is for you. Here are five things you unknowingly do that push your husband away:

  • 1. You don't see him as a priority

  • Children, work and other responsibilities are important, but they might be getting in the way of your relationship. If your husband isn't your number one priority, you'll likely drift apart over time. It's especially difficult for him when you withhold affection. A quick kiss as you're running out the door isn't the same as a romantic evening or an intimate night without any distractions.

  • Make him feel special and he will do the same for you. Your parenting will also improve when you're both on the same page.

  • 2. You try to change him

  • Don't try to make him change to fit your ideal life. Never compare your man to other men and avoid excessive nagging. This will make him feel unloved and unwanted.

  • Love your husband for his good traits and his bad traits. Love him for who he is, not who you wish he was.

  • 3. You're emotionally dumping on him ... always

  • Some days are truly just awful. On those days it definitely helps to have a listening ear and an encouraging husband. But over-the-top emotions, talking non-stop and constant complaints will drive your husband insane. Insulting other women (and men) is off putting for your husband. When you're always running your mouth and never listening to him, he will start to distance himself from you, which will eventually lead to divorce.

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  • Take time to listen to your man and keep excessive emotions and cruel thoughts to yourself. Even better, stop gossiping all together.

  • 4. You don't treat him as an equal

  • You are not his mom or his boss, so don't act like them. When you ask for his advice, listen and follow it (at least occasionally). Let him make decisions and admit when he is right about something (especially if you were so insistent that he was wrong). Let him protect and provide for you in his own way, just like you protect and provide for him in yours.

  • Relationships require teamwork, and though that doesn't mean you will always agree on everything, it means you must respect and support each other.

  • 5. You're too dependent, emotional and/or critical

  • If he is your only friend, things are probably not going to continue down a happy path. At the same time, if you are too emotional or critical about him, then he is going to feel like a failure and get frustrated with you. You need to stand on your own two feet, find independence and work with your man, don't tear him down.

  • Don't let jealousy or loneliness drive your husband away. Instead, work with your husband to build an interdependent marriage. Both you and your spouse will be much happier if you do so.

  • Small efforts lead to positive results. Protect your marriage by looking carefully at your behavior and talking to your husband about what you can improve. Relationships take compromise and diligence, and as long as both you and your man put in that work, you will strengthen your love for one another.

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Stacie Simpson is a FamilyShare staff writer. She loves listening to, gathering and sharing stories and advice to help others improve their quality of life. She spends most of her free time with her husband, ballroom dancing, reading and writing.

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