A million thanks for thinking of me during your time of suffering. I would love to know exactly how to help you, but I'm not quite sure how. So, I've decided to do what I know how to do - write you a letter. I don't know if it will help you through your hard time, but I will share a very private part of my life and what I've learned with you, and I hope it will help you as well.
When I was 8 years old, my school celebrated Father's Day. We all had to make key chains with our fathers' initials on it. My problem was that I didn't know what initial to use. Not because I didn't know my father's name, but because he decided to leave my me and my mother when I was 4. If I didn't put his initials on the key chain, I wouldn't have to give it to him. That was the first time I realized that someone had broken my heart.
After eight years, (four of those years living in denial) I realized for the first time that he would never return. I realized he wouldn't be with me when I turned 15, or when I fell in love and got married. He was not with me when I had my two daughters. At that moment, I realized my life would be incomplete forever.
Nothing hurts more than being betrayed by someone you love unconditionally. You spend your life trying to pinpoint the reasons why that person decided to stop loving you, why they decided to leave your life and why they didn't give you the chance to be happy. You blame yourself, compare yourself, analyze your life and mourn your loss day after day. People say time heals broken hearts, but sometimes it feels as if there will always be an empty hole inside. And so you spend the days, the weeks, the months of your life never knowing how to overcome this heartbreak.
Dear reader, although my experience is not the same as yours, I know the pain you feel. I know the desperation you feel when you realize there's nothing you can do to erase what happened. No matter how many tears you cry or how much you pray, it doesn't change your circumstances. But in the midst of all this chaos, there is someone you've forgotten who will always be with you. You've forgotten to love the most important person in your life - you've forgotten to love yourself.
I wish I knew exactly how to help you, and how to magically ease your pain, but I don't have the wisdom to do that. All I can do is share the lessons life has taught me, and hope that at least some of my words will relieve your heartache, even if it's just for a moment.
Life has taught me...
... that betrayals are never the victim's fault. Betrayals occur because of the betrayer's selfishness.
... that those who betray don't understand anything about love.
... that no one comes to know happiness unless he/she has cried.