Remember when you were a little girl and you dreamed of your very own Prince Charming? Maybe your Barbie got all beautified and met Ken on a blind date under the dining room table, or perhaps you pinned posters of your heart-throb on the bedroom wall and dreamed of being his girlfriend. Your Prince Charming was handsome and funny and rich and attentive. He was perfect.
And now you are a wife! You found your Prince Charming, fell in love and are gripping the edge of your seat on the crazy rollercoaster called "marriage." Hopefully, you still feel somewhat like a princess, but as reality hits, has your prince's crown slipped a little since you said, "I do"? What if he always leaves the toilet seat up or he constantly forgets to pick up milk on the way home or he doesn't tell you he loves you like he used to when he was in pursuit mode? What if he's actually not that charming after all?
He's not God. I know you realize that by now (!) but honestly, we sometimes forget that one simple truth. My husband is not God, he never claimed to be, and who am I to expect him to be perfect, when only One is perfect? Stay with me here, I know what I'm talking about...
My husband is perfect for me.
Not my version of perfect, and not perfection itself (mercy!) but he's my very own Prince Charming. Before you think me all mushy, let me explain that I have been married for almost 29 years (it's true) and have seen plenty of non-princely things in my man. Likewise, he's seen a whole lot of horrific un-princess-like qualities from me, because neither one of us has it all together! Much grace has been required.
In the early days, I would get totally frustrated that he wasn't my "everything." Wasn't he supposed to complete me, or something? Why couldn't he anticipate my moods and read my mind, for goodness' sake? Poor, poor guy! Oh, how I wish I could go back and poke young newlywed Laura with her sparkly tiara and tell her, "Your identity is not in your shiny new husband - IT IS IN CHRIST!" It would have saved much exasperation and confusion for us both.
In a marriage, there's a whole lot of choosing going on ..
You choose him, he chooses you, you both choose a home, a sofa, a dog - and so it goes on. But before all the marital magic, as Christians, we were chosen by the Almighty to be HIS. Our identity is in Christ. We look to Him to love us unconditionally, to redeem us, to forgive us, to never leave us, to be our perfection. This isn't the job of our husband! He's a flawed human, just like us. He's not perfect and neither are we, but God has brought you together that you would be "perfect" for each other, and serve Him in unity.
Unrealistic expectations aside, most of us are rather drawn to the idea of romance and Prince Charming's and happily ever after's, am I right? When my husband and I were barely home from our honeymoon, we attended a conference in the UK, where we lived at the time. The speaker, Christian apologist and author Josh McDowell, came over to us afterwards to chat. I'm pretty sure we screamed "newlywed" with our perfect Cyprus tans and entwined hands. Generally, I have a horrible memory, but I will never forget his words to us that day:
"Never come off your honeymoon, kids. My wife and I have been married many years, and we never came off our honeymoon."
Now that was some charming, right there! And he still had a twinkle in his eye talking about his wife. He was encouraging us to hold on to that adoring, romantic, newlywed love even when life kicked in full force.
Obviously, we don't sit around the kitchen with tiny umbrellas in our drinks and pretend to be on a balmy beach all day - real life happens, work and kids and ups and downs, but we have been intentional about staying in honeymoon mode. We've always made time to go on dates together, we dream and laugh and still catch each other's eye across a crowded room! It's not always easy and we often forget and are distracted - it takes effort and communication, but the happily ever after can be a beautiful, messy reality. Especially when Christ, the Perfect One, is in the midst of it all.
Even when his crown slips, your husband can still be YOUR very own Prince Charming...
But remember always, Jesus is your King of Kings.
Editor's note: This article was originally published on Young Wives Club. It has been republished here with permission.
Laura is a published Christian author with a heart for inspiring and encouraging readers of all ages. She is truly multi-genre—with a published Christian teen fiction trilogy, marriage book, children’s stories, devotionals musings on her blog, and she now has a literary agent representing her Christian romantic suspense novel. Laura is English and Canadian, married to her high school sweetheart, mom of three, passionate about faith and family … and chocolate!