A woman hard at work and ready to find the one could be headed toward trouble. With her sights set on the goal of marriage and family it's easy to miss those red flags right in front of her face. She will have to slow down to see the reality of her budding relationship. Here are 5 mistakes women make early on in relationships:
1. Talking tough
If you find it hard to have a simple conversation with your date, that's a serious sign something's amiss. Some people are just hard to talk to and there isn't much to be done about it. But it could be even more telling of their personality. If you are the one carrying conversations and your beau-to-be is content being quiet until you bring up the next topic, drop him. He's probably boring, but at the very least lacks communication skills. The key to a good relationship is communication and he clearly can't do that.
If your conversations quickly get intense and heated, be weary. If you can't keep calm and carry on in the beginning, the stresses of marriage and kids later on certainly won't help either of you keep from blowing your lids. If you simply don't enjoy talking to your guy and find it tedious and unfulfilling, keep looking. This never gets better.
If your guy is hard to have fun with, move it along. You may have different interests and just don't enjoy the same things. If he's the quiet type and you like to light up the night, you won't enjoy each other's hangouts. He might also just be a wet blanket. No matter how sunny the day is, if he makes it overcast and always manages to rain on your parade, get on your galoshes and skip away. And don't forget to smile and splash in the puddles.
3. Tolerating criticism
A critical person usually gets worse with time, not better. If your guy always seems to find something wrong with what you're doing, what you're saying, what you're wearing or what you think, back away slowly. He may mask his critiques by saying he's trying to help you improve, mature or better yourself. But he's actually trying to mold you into the person he wants, instead of going out and finding that person himself.
Criticism can eat away at your self-esteem. And soon it's no longer about your actions, attitudes or opinions. Those cutting words will be about you. Who you are and why you're not good enough. Don't go down that dark road. Turn back now and find someone who cherishes you instead of chipping away at you.
Along with criticism comes a more covert form of overbearing behavior. There are many ways your man could imply that he is above you. "Mansplaining" or over-explaining something in a dumbed-down or overly technical way is just one of many. Treating you like a child who can't take care of or make decisions for herself is another. Assuming you don't know something or questioning the truth or validity of a statement, especially in front of other people, is a way to lower your voice and value. So shout it from the rooftops, "We're done!"
Deciding he's the right guy for you before you know who he is, is a classic example of living for the endgame. You have to practice the plays before you score the winning goal. Don't be so quick to commit. And be weary of a man who is ready to wed before he's seen you first thing in the morning, so to speak. He hasn't seen you at your worst yet. And a man who doesn't want you at your worst doesn't deserve you at your best.
Watch out for these sometimes easy to ignore deal-breakers. You may be racing against your biological clock, but careful steps will keep you from tripping over your mistakes.
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