Loveless marriage? 4 tips to fall back in love with your spouse
Many couples find themselves in stale marriages. This doesn't mean that you're doomed to a loveless marriage forever. These four tips will help you fall back in love with your spouse and reignite your marriage.
Your marriage doesn't have to be rocky to fall out of love with your spouse. Sometimes your marriage becomes bland and stale, and you just drift apart. While you may not fight and argue all the time, this kind of rut in your relationship is still just as dangerous. In fact, it may be even more dangerous because couples don't often see this as a sign of a bad relationship. As long as they're not fighting or yelling, they think their relationship is OK. But a bland and stale relationship is just as dangerous because it runs the risk of one of you falling out of love. Once love dies in the relationship it's hard to create that spark, again.
So what can you do when you fall into one of these ruts and fall out of love with your spouse? Are you doomed to a dull, loveless marriage? Absolutely not. There are steps you can take to reclaim your marriage and create a happy, loving marriage again. Below are four tips to help you do just that.
1. Go on dates
Everyone has heard the advice to do a date night, right? How cliché. But it's true. Going on dates makes sure you keep in touch with your spouse in more than just a "how was your day?" kind of way. Go out and talk to each other about each other. Don't talk about kids or calendars or housework. Just talk to your spouse and try to find out something new about them.
2. Do new things together
Bland relationships often happen when you do the same boring things together. So add a little variety in your life. Visit new places and do new things. Seeing your spouse react the first time they try a new sport or try a new food is a great way to find out something new about your spouse and recreate some spark.
3. Talk to your spouse
If you feel out of love with your spouse, it's difficult to tell him. You may not want to hurt his feelings. You may also feel selfish to tell her that you want to be happier - especially if your marriage isn't too rocky. But telling your spouse will let him know what you're going through and will give him an opportunity to meet your emotional needs. When you see her trying to meet your emotional needs, it creates love.
4. Have an identity outside of your marriage
It's important to do things together as a couple, but it's also important to be an individual. If you don't have your own likes and interests and hobbies, it makes it difficult to give your spouse someone unique and exciting with whom to connect. Give yourself permission to have your own interests outside of your marriage and outside of your family. It not only helps you, but it helps your marriage, as well.
Just because a couple doesn't fight doesn't mean your marriage is happy. Many couples fall out of love that don't fight all the time. This should be taken as seriously as if you did fight a lot because it's just as damaging and leads to unhappiness personally and in your marriage. These four tips can help you get out of that rut and kick start your marriage into one that's passionate and vibrant.
Aaron Anderson is a therapist and Director of The Marriage and Family Clinic in Denver, CO. He is a writer, speaker and relationship expert. Checkout his blog for expert information on how to improve your relationship.