Sometimes in a relationship you can feel alone. You are capable of fulfilling your own needs, but that doesn't make doing it feel less lonely.
You think you're asking your husband for what you need but somehow he doesn't hear. Still, your husband loves you and his heart would break to know that he isn't meeting your needs. Here's how you can best communicate your needs and get your husband to do what you want him to. That way, your husband can do what he really wants to as well: fully support you.
1. Be a "damsel in distress" (ask for help)
This isn't about waiting for a prince to save you (or just pick up some groceries). It's about recognizing that the most amazing super women understand themselves well enough to know their limits. Be specific and ask for what you need help juggling. Bonus: he'll feel great being your hero.
Sure, you're no princess, but you are a high-value woman and you deserve to be treated like one. Don't be a snob or set standards that are too high, but expect the respect and love that you deserve and it will come.
3. Tell him what you want
Unless you're married to someone who sparkles in the sun and lives on a diet of blood (read: Edward Cullen) your husband isn't a mind reader. This means if you want your husband to do something, you can't just think it and hope that he knows what you need. Simply tell him what you want him to do.
4. Ask again
It's okay to ask again. We all need reminding when we're making changes and doing something new. And I promise, asking again is not the same thing as nagging. Just make sure you're understanding and avoid accusing him of not listening the first time you asked him for a favor.
5. Help him understand why
The reason for your needs might seem obvious to you, but that doesn't mean it's apparent to everyone else. Tell him you'd like him to wear a tie so your boss knows you respect the time she's taking to have dinner with you. By knowing the 'whys' of your request, he'll be more inclined to acquiesce then if you just tell him to suit up.
6. Say "I" instead of "you"
Everyone tends get defensive when it feels like someone is attacking us. So if you want your husband to make a change, focus your request on yourself instead of what he is doing wrong. For example, instead of saying, "You never listen to me" say, "Sometimes I don't feel heard." Because he loves you, he will want to find a way to fix what's broken.
If you aren't clear about what you want from your husband, he may think that he's doing what you want him to even if he's not. Mitigate this situation by being specific about what you want. For instance, instead of just saying "I want to feel more loved" explain the things (like holding your hand when you're out and about, saying I love you every day) he can do to make you feel loved. The more specific you are, the more he's empowered to do what you ask.
8. Be grateful
There's no accounting for the effect some genuine "thank yous" can have. When we feel like what we do is appreciated, we get a natural high which encourages us to repeat the behavior. Always express appreciation to your husband.
As you're trying to help your husband learn to meet your needs, you also need to be respectful of his. Make sure you ask him at a time he can give his attention to you. Likewise, don't request things when you are in the middle of a fight or he's stressed out. Setting makes all the difference.
Just try it ;)
11. Do what he wants
Relationships are all about give and take. First of all, make sure you understand what he wants from you (go ahead and ask him). As you do what you can to meet his needs, he will naturally want to do the best he can to meet yours.