Confidence doesn't mean being the flashiest person in the room or the "best" person there - that's arrogance. But sometimes those two traits look a lot like each other; It's simple to be confident without being obnoxiously arrogant when you follow these seven steps:
1. Know your strengths and weaknesses
Confidence doesn't stem from having lots of strengths and being the best. Confidence is knowing what your skills are and knowing where you need to improve. Someone who is arrogant pretends to know everything, so being humble about your weaknesses and working hard to improve them will boost your confidence...not your pride.
Flashy attitudes and behaviors are arrogant and generally annoying. Since confidence flourishes from the inside, there is no need for you to buy expensive things for the sake of showing off. You won't need to have the latest and greatest toys when you are truly confident.
3. Track successes and failures
Knowing your failures can push you to improve, but if you only focus on your failures, you're not being fair to yourself. However, focussing solely on your successes can cause over-confidence and even arrogance. The balance of humble confidence comes from being aware of both your failures and your successes.
4. Be aware of your body language
How you hold yourself will tell people a lot about you, so practice power poses to convey your confidence. When you walk into a room with your shoulders back and a friendly smile on your face, you look confident and approachable. Your body language is one of the first things people notice about you, so practice in front of a mirror if needed.
5. Develop good friendships
Friends can help build you up - and keep you from being arrogant. When you have a solid group of friends, your confidence can grow, but is kept in check. True friends will give you a dose of reality if your confidence ever turns to arrogance.
When you spend more time listening to others, you actually hear insights you miss while you're too busy talking about yourself. Talk about yourself tactfully. It's OK to be proud of your accomplishments, but don't shove them in people's faces. When you do speak, have a purpose behind what you're going to say. This helps you command a healthy respect and naturally puts you in the center of attention when you speak.
7. Be mindful of others
Confident people don't need to belittle others. In fact, they do the opposite. When you are confident, you have no problem praising others. Consider other people's feelings before speaking and work to boost their confidence.
Confidence starts from the inside and slowly grows. If you follow these steps, your confidence won't blossom into arrogance. To help, pick someone who you respect (and who respects you) to be your model of confidence - and fake it till you make it.
Stacie Simpson is a FamilyShare staff writer. She loves listening to, gathering and sharing stories and advice to help others improve their quality of life. She spends most of her free time with her husband, ballroom dancing, reading and writing.