All wives love words of affirmation. Although, this is certainly not an exhaustive list, here are some simple but powerful phrases and questions that can be implemented right away to help create a more blissful marriage.
1. You’re worth it
Whether you are balancing the checkbook or carrying her overstuffed luggage to a car, every wife likes to know she is loved for who she is. No one is perfect (she married you, right?) Despite any mishaps, mistakes, or differences of opinion let her know that she has been and is worth every step of your journey together.
This doesn’t mean that a husband agrees with every purchase a wife has made or wants to make. It means he is interested in her wishes and desires. The underlying message is, “If it were possible I’d get you everything your heart desires.”
3. Wow. That’s really interesting
When said with sincerity this phrase lets the woman in your life know you are truly interested in what she is saying. Your discussions may not always focus on the topic that most interests you but, in the end, the focus is not always the particular topic but rather who is speaking. What she will hear is, “Wow. You are really interesting—to me.”
4. You’re beautiful. I love you just the way you are
Women (and men) will go through a lot of physical changes in their life. No matter the size of their waist or color of her hair, every wife wants to feel she is still beautiful in the eyes of the man she accepted into her life as her best friend. Wrinkles and gray hair will eventually come. Look at her through the lens of eternity.
5. I’d love to
Maybe you really don’t feel this way. Not every request is going to be rejuvenating, exciting, or convenient. This does not mean you agree to everything she asks, but try to be a more willing and enthusiastic participant when you can. Replace any begrudging or sluggish attitudes with this statement and you might be pleasantly surprised to find more zest when carrying out a request.
6. What do you think?
Your partner in life wants to be valued. She wants to know that her opinion and ideas matter. You don’t have to agree on everything but don’t be disagreeable in the process. Ask for her insights and you can come up with better solutions together rather than alone.
Some people have a real issue and are reluctant to use these words. Saying you are sorry is not an admission of guilt, wrongdoing, or blame. (These are aspects of an apology and should be implemented when needed.) The phrase, "I’m sorry” can also mean that you are sorry that a fight occurred, that her feelings were hurt (by you or someone else) and that you are feeling genuine empathy for her. These words mean that you are ultimately on HER side in this life’s journey.
8. How can I help?
Music to a woman’s ears! Use it the kitchen, when she is preparing for a responsibility at church or work, or just when she might be feeling blue. The answer may be “nothing” but it can’t help but ease her burdens when she knows you will be there for her. A willing heart goes a long way.
Not your golfing buddy or your work colleagues or anyone else. She wants to be your best friend in this partnership. This doesn’t mean you need to spend every waking moment together. Disagreements may arise and common interests may not align 100 percent, but she wants to know that in the end you would still pick her over anyone else.
10. I love you
These three words can never be said too much. A common excuse for not using this simple phrase is, “she knows I love her.” Maybe so, but words can be sweeter than honey. Say it. Say it, when you wake up and before you go to bed. Feelings grow stronger with spoken words. Just say it.
Ramona Siddoway writes from Houston, Texas. An avid traveler she has published articles in Angola, Brussels, and the UK as well as the United States. Besides contributing to FamilyShare she writes for Young Adults and Middle Grade. Ramona is married with four children, a dog that is paranoid about the outdoor sprinkler system and an Angolan cat that is incredibly snarky when she is cold.