4 signs your wife is silently upset with you and how to fix it

Recognizing when your wife is silently upset is vital to a healthy marriage, but discovering why and fixing it can be difficult.

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  • You have a unique and special relationship with your wife. You can sense when something is wrong with your wife, but often times you have no idea what is wrong. It could be the children, it could be finances or it could be you. Here are four signs your wife is upset with you:

  • 1. Lack of communication

  • Communication between you and your wife is unique to your relationship. It's healthy for couples to talk multiple times throughout the day about this and that. Your wife is upset with you if she stops texting, calling or emailing you, sends abnormally short responses to you, takes ages to respond or doesn't respond at all (especially if you can see that she read the text).

  • Lack of communication is the first sign that your wife is upset with you.

  • 2. Fake happiness

  • You know when your wife is happy - you should be able to tell when she is faking it. This fake happiness should be an ominous warning to you; It takes a lot of energy to pretend to be happy when you are in fact very upset. The fake happiness will often be laced with sarcasm, with insults disguised as jokes. Seeing your wife like this might cause a feeling of dread to flood your body. Don't ignore that feeling.

  • 3. Lack of physical contact

  • Perhaps your wife isn't a touchy-feely kind of person, but if she avoids any physical contact, she is upset. Men and women take comfort in the loving touch of their spouse, so when your wife is avoiding any contact that means she is too upset to talk to you, let alone touch you.

  • 4. She explodes

  • You will have a very angry and frustrated wife on your hands if you somehow missed the previous signs. These three signs can add fuel to a fiery explosion that can be triggered by the smallest thing (like not putting the toilet seat down).

  • The toilet seat isn't really the issue; she's more upset you didn't recognize until now how frustrated she is. I know, women don't make sense but that's how it goes.

  • Don't wait till your wife explodes. The suggestions below should help you when you first recognize she is upset. They will also work after an explosive argument, but the sometimes hurtful words said in such a heated discussion can create more strain on the relationship:

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  • Option 1: Try to figure out what you did

  • When you first recognize that your wife is upset, try to figure out how you upset her. Carefully think about the earlier that week. She will be much more willing to talk to you if you say "I'm sorry I upset you. Was it because of the dirty dishes?" then "Why are you upset?" If you can't figure out why she is upset then say,"You sound upset. I've tried to think about what I've done but I couldn't figure it out. Why are you upset with me?" Discuss with her privately, then talk to her friends and family if she doesn't explain why she is upset. Then return to talk to her when you know what triggered her angry feelings.

  • Option 2: Provide a peace offering

  • Have no clue why she is upset? Then do something she will appreciate. Your wife's temper might be softened when you bring home flowers and volunteer to bathe the children before putting them to bed. Showing that you love her (and not just saying it) will make it possible to have a calmer discussion about why she's so frustrated. Let her know you honestly want to understand what you did to upset her. Oh, and the peace-offering should not appear to be a way for you to escape talking to her. Make sure your wife knows you did it to help her out.

  • The longer you and your wife are together, the easier it will be to understand when she is upset with you and how to approach the conflict. The more you communicate with her, she will feel more comfortable approaching you about things that upset her.

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Stacie Simpson is a FamilyShare staff writer. She loves listening to, gathering and sharing stories and advice to help others improve their quality of life. She spends most of her free time with her husband, ballroom dancing, reading and writing.

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