Sometimes you don't know that you are in a toxic relationship because you are seeing your husband through rose-colored glasses.
A healthy marriage consists of love, respect and trust. When those values aren't there, it's a sure sign you need to evaluate your husband's behavior. If cruelty and dominance is left unchecked, you will find your marriage and yourself in a dangerous situation.
Take off your glasses and ask yourself honestly; do you see these 10 behaviors in your marriage?
He has vices
Does he steal, drink too much, or view pornography? Anything that is damaging your relationship should not be tolerated. Anything that takes time and attention away from you should not be tolerated. There isn't any room for destructive habits in a healthy marriage.
He keeps you from your friends and family
Though you are married, there are other relationships that need your attention. If your husband is constantly making excuses to prevent you from seeing friends or family, pay attention. Keeping you away from loved ones is a huge red flag. A husband who controls your every move and separates you from your family and friends can't be tolerated.
He abuses you
Marriage is about love, respect, and strengthening one another. If your husband has ever verbally, mentally or physically abused you, get help. Do not tolerate any level of abuse. Do not accept controlling and insulting comments. Emotional abuse can lead to low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, and many other mental health disorders. Have courage to ask for help and leave any relationship that hurts you.
If you pack up and move across the country to support your husband's career path, and he can't seem to make time for you, stop making excuses for him. Marriage depends on compromise, and if he seems incapable of doing so, your marriage will fall apart.
He lies to you
Lying can be a red flag for more serious problems, like infidelity. Trust is the foundation of marriage, and without it, your marriage will crumble. Settle only for honesty in your marriage.
He makes all of your decisions
Does your husband ask for your opinion? When you give it, does he listen to you? Having a controlling and dominant husband is toxic in any relationship. You both are adults who are fully capable of making and thinking through decisions. Choose to be in a marriage where you both are in charge of deciding how your life together will be.
If your husband forces you to do things you clearly are not comfortable doing, this is a serious problem. You two need to be always aware of each other's boundaries. Do not tolerate force in your marriage.
He belittles your appearance
If the words, "You need to lose weight," "You need to wear more make-up," or "You're not going anywhere with me in that outfit" come out of his mouth, run away fast as you can. Your body is yours to dress and maintain. Just because you two are committed to each other does not mean he has the right to criticize your appearance or change how you look. Critiques like this are considered abusive behavior. Do not tolerate any comments or behaviors that shame you or your body.
Do not tolerate possessive, unstable, or insecure behavior from your husband. If he is overly suspicious when you are out and about without him, your marriage may be in jeopardy.
He threatens you
Threats are never a part of a positive and healthy relationship. If there are any threats to leave you, to hurt you, or to do something that will potentially harm your relationship, get away from him as soon as you are able. Threats manipulate and control you, and have no place in a healthy marriage.
Chakell Wardleigh has a Bachelor of Arts in English. She spends her days silently (mostly) correcting others' grammar. She adores all things nerd, such as Harry Potter, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Shakespeare, and anything else that whisks her away from reality. She currently works as an editor for the FamilyShare team. You can usually find her with her nose in a book, laughing too loudly, or belting out songs from Hamilton.