Marriage isn't a one-way street. When you or your partner fails to do something important, it can bring negativity to your relationship. But most often, people don't recognize that their actions are actually hurting their marriage. Here are five things you're unknowingly doing that are ruining your relationship with your spouse:
1. Your spouse isn't your first priority
Your spouse should be your number one priority. If you're putting less important things above your spouse, it may be time to rethink your actions. Ask yourself if what you're doing is more important than spending time with your spouse. Could you be doing the same thing with your spouse? Or would your spouse approve of what you are doing? To have a loving marriage, you must make your spouse your first priority. All other things can come after.
Miscommunication can and will happen in any relationship. But if you aren't communicating with your spouse, you need to start doing so as soon as possible. Ignoring your spouse or purposely giving them the silent treatment is only detrimental to your relationship. The only way to work through your problems is together. Talk it out. Leave no secrets between both of you. The more communication you have with each other, the fewer problems you will have.
3. Taking things too seriously
Chances are you married someone with a great sense of humor. Sometimes that humor can turn into sarcasm and at times, you may take things too seriously than what your spouse intended their comment to be. Don't allow a little bit of miscommunication to ruin your life. If you're constantly straight-faced, you need to let loose and have some fun. Allow some humor back into your life. Recognize that not everything is out to get you and your spouse is there to love and support you— not to hurt you.
4. Have unrealistic expectations
If you have always dreamed of finding the perfect spouse, falling in love and living happily ever after, you may need to accept reality. Life is full of mistakes and trials and things that will try to hinder your happiness and faith. If your expectations are too high, you'll be disappointed and end up hurting your spouse in the long run. Keep your expectations realistic. Remember that your spouse isn't perfect and neither are you. Love your spouse for their flaws and all and you'll have a much happier marriage.
Everyone makes mistakes. If your spouse has offended or hurt you in some way, it won't do well to dwell on their faults. Talking through your problems and forgiving your spouse is a step in the right direction. Once you forgive your spouse you can move on and begin healing and mending your relationship to what it was before.
Once you're made aware of these five things that are unknowingly ruining your marriage, you can start to make changes in your life and improve your marriage. Don't be afraid to be the first one to reach out to your spouse and better yourself. The two of you are in this together. Don't let small, tedious things destroy the love you have for each other.
Callie has two Bachelor of Arts degrees in English and Communication and when she isn’t writing, she’s reading. Some of her favorite things include Harry Potter, all things Disney, road trips, and telling stories.