The dating pool can be a harsh place. When you first begin dating you may become invested in someone who turns out to be not quite normal. If you find you're continuously falling for people who are just plain crazy, there may be a reason for that. Here are five of them:
1. You're really nice
Really nice people don't necessarily attract more than their fair share of crazy people. You're just nicer to them than the rest of us. So if you treat everyone well you'll make anyone feel comfortable and want to be around you, including people who shouldn't be. This doesn't mean you have to be nasty to people who are seriously off kilter. But it does mean you should be aware of how inviting you are and limit your polite nature around people you don't want hanging around.
2. You're really honest
Honesty is a sign that your guard is down. It also says you expect honesty from others and will take people at face value. So someone who doesn't have your best interest in mind will take your honesty and use it against you if you're not careful. Be a little more cautious in opening up quickly to new people.
When you see the good in everyone it can sometimes mean you are seeing things that are not there. Or, you are focusing on the good when the bad is much more serious and pressing. This is very hard for most good-natured people to deal with. It forces you to change a fundamental belief you may carry about the innate goodness in people. In the end it's better to be safe than put yourself and those you love in harm's way.
4. You care about others more than yourself
Caring for others is generally a positive trait. But when caring for others' needs and wants leaves you depleted and unhinged, it's no longer something to be admired. Comprising your health, income, friends, family or happiness for someone is bordering on self-abuse. Stop it and find a way to rid yourself of the soul-sucker you've let latch on.
Warning signs can be easy to bypass when you are getting to know someone and starting to feel for them. You may stop yourself from what you may think of as passing judgment on them. Or take the things they say or do in the most positive light and make a lot of excuses for them. In the end, you need to take into consideration everything that happens with you and anything they've done in the past that causes you concern. It takes a lot of effort for someone to change their crazy ways, if they even can. Don't take their word for it. Get proof this person has changed for the better or understand you may be the next casualty of their craziness.
Whether it's possessiveness, erratic behavior, emotional outbursts or even violence, craziness comes in many colors. Take the time to understand your personality so you can make the effort to adjust your vision to see crazy as it comes. Once you see it shine bright early on deflect it so it doesn't stick around.
Remember, to keep the crazies at bay: take care of yourself, see what's actually there and don't ignore red flags.