When you've found a man that makes your heart pitter-patter faster than usual, you've got a crisis on your hands. Your girlfriends will have heaps of pep talks prepared, but I doubt they have created this slam dunk- a surprisingly successful game plan that is proven, by me, to win the heart of the man who is better than the man of your dreams. (Because he is REAL.)
1. Forget about yourself
One thing that is sure to blow up in your face is to obsess about the way you look, feel and think. Step out of yourself and focus on him and the people he spends time with. Be genuinely interested in what he and others have to say. You will learn a lot about him by paying attention. What you learn will be useful later.
He is likely to make out with you, or more, if that's what he perceives you want and if you're flaunting it juuust right. But is that really what you want?
Lots of girls are pretty, have lips and other feminine features that men are attracted to. What will convert him to the gospel of you, and only you, is YOU. Your intellect, your laugh, your sass, your sense of humor, etc., is what will create a space in his heart just for you.
3. Take him on the date of his dreams
This is where applying number one becomes an advantage. As you are becoming genuinely interested in him and his life, you will learn the things he loves to do and experience. Taking him out on a date that is all about him will remind him of his mama and how she used to cut the crust off of his sandwiches just the way he liked. Behind every good man is a heart that melts when he thinks about his mama.
Of course, assuming his mother is a good person. If she isn't a good person, his heart will melt anyway because you are making a strong case that you will take care of him and love him well.
If one of your date activities fails or falls through here are some back up ideas.
4. Ignore the advice "Be yourself"
Be whoever you want. "Who is yourself anyway?" is a question that comes to mind every time this advice is given.
For example, sometimes people think I'm super funny but many times they don't. But for the small percentage of people that do, it is worth being funny because that is just me being me. On the flip side, some people may take my humor as rude. But, that is also me just being me, and those people just don't get me.
Accept that this man will likely engage with other women. Nobody wants to end up with a psycho jealous person. Get to know his friends that are girls, or the girls that might be more than friends but not in a creepy way. If you see them be respectful and kind. When you are not around these friends, refrain from tearing them down. Do you want your relationship to be between you, your hunk and another girl? No. You actually make yourself less appealing by talking smack about others.
Best of luck to you! Be sure to send me a wedding invite.
This article was originally published here. It has been republished with permission.
Melissa Thurm is a native Georgian, wife and the public relations specialist for Mikarose. She graduated with competency in educational/parental psychology, organized communication and public relations.