Once upon a time, you met the man you thought was the man of your dreams. In the time that has passed since you've been together, something's changed. Things just aren't the way they used to be. What once was magic between you two has since dissipated and is nowhere to be found. You're left wondering if there's any love left in the relationship and whether or not you should end it altogether. If you're feeling any of things, this is your first sign that it may be time to say goodbye.
There's nothing more empowering than ending something that is making you feel like less of a person. Don't let any of these things stop you from getting out of a bad relationship. No matter how long you've been together, ending a long-term relationship will only make you stronger.
Listen to the doubts you have
If you're having any doubts at all about your relationship, you need to listen to them. It could be your subconscious telling you something you need to know. Don't easily dissuade those thoughts. Consider them and ponder on what they could mean. If these doubts are leading you to put an end to your long-term relationship, it may not be a bad thing. It may actually free you from an unhealthy relationship so you can find a better one.
Thoughts of relief
Are you having any thoughts of relief when you consider ending the relationship? This only points to the fact that it may be the right thing to do. Satisfy your thoughts of relief by making it a reality. You'll only feel much freer when it's over. It will be a sad, hard thing to do but you'll feel much freer and all sorts of opportunities will present themselves to you that you weren't able to see before.
If he is being controlling now, imagine what he will be like in the future
A really strong warning sign is how controlling your man is. If he is domineering and wanting to know everything you do with every second of your day, something is seriously wrong. He should not control every aspect of your life. You deserve to have freedom in a relationship. If he is being controlling because he "loves you" it's time to get out. Ending the relationship, no matter how long you've been together, will only free you and open your world to a whole new realm of possibilities.
If he isn't looking for marriage, what is he looking for?
What are your plans and future goals for the relationship? Whether you've been together for ten years or one, you both need to talk about your expectations from the relationship. If you keep shying away from the subject of marriage, it's a sign it may be time to put the relationship behind you. If his wants are different from yours and you cannot come to an agreement about what will satisfy you both, you will never be happy.
Where is the respect?
Does he respect you? Do you respect him? If the answer is no to one or both of these questions, this is just another reason why it's time to break it off. A relationship can never work if there is no respect between partners. You both should be able to respect each other's boundaries and your partner's wants or needs. If those respects and needs are not being met it's unlikely you will be able to strengthen your relationship, it will only weaken.
Don't let fear hold you back
Fear is the number one reason why many people won't break off a long-term relationship. Fear is a natural response to taking a risk. It's easy to be afraid of the repercussions or worry that you'll never be able to find someone as wonderful as your man was. Don't let fear hold you back from the possibility of finding someone better. In the end, breaking off a long-term relationship will only free you from a place that is making you feel less than the person you are meant to be. Ending it altogether will only make you stronger because you are taking a step in the right direction that will lead you to improve your life and find better love for yourself.
Don't be discouraged by thoughts that you will never find another man to love. There may never be another person like your ex because the world is filled with different and unique people. No two people are the same. Feel confident in knowing that there is someone better out there who will love you more than he ever will. There is someone out there who will cherish you and give you the respect and love you rightly deserve.
None of this means that the relationship you were in was wrong. At one point in time, it was right. But time changes people. That relationship taught you lessons you needed to learn and gave you extremely valuable knowledge to carry with you into a future relationship. This experience will only make you stronger for your next relationship and perhaps one day lead to the marriage you've always dreamed of.
Callie has two Bachelor of Arts degrees in English and Communication and when she isn’t writing, she’s reading. Some of her favorite things include Harry Potter, all things Disney, road trips, and telling stories.