I am not a morning person. I feel like it might kill me to get out of bed before 9 a.m., but I woke up the other morning in a good mood. It was weird. At the end of the day, I looked back to see what made that day special, and I ultimately pinned it down to having a positive attitude with myself. I don't mean that I was suddenly overly nice and energetic with all of the strangers I came into contact with that day. I mean that every time I inwardly asked myself a negative question, I chose to answer positively and my mood immediately changed. These are some common questions we women ask ourselves daily and how to deal with them positively to improve each and every day.
Your two-year-old spent the night in your bed and your baby was up six times last night. You wake up thinking the sun rising over the horizon is some sick joke the world loves to play on you every single day. "Did I even sleep last night?" It definitely doesn't feel like it, but the day that begins with this question is not doomed for failure. Take a few minutes for yourself, even a few seconds, and make the decision that today is going to be a good day. No matter what. And it will be. I do this every morning and sometimes as often as every few minutes throughout the day. No, every day is not perfect, but you can make the choice to be happy.
2. Does this make me look frumpy?
We all do it. Every morning. We either try on multiple outfits searching for that one that hides our post-pregnancy bodies well enough to be "presentable" or we give up entirely and resign ourselves to another day of yoga pants and a comfy T-shirt. Some days I'm lucky if yoga pants even replace my sweatpants from the night before. That's okay.
But, when the question comes up, "Can I even take my kids to school in this?" shake it off and ask yourself instead, "Who do I get dressed for?" Get dressed for yourself because you want to look nice for your husband because you both deserve it. Don't get dressed for the people looking to judge you because they opted to put on makeup instead of eat breakfast. And, let's be honest, your kids don't care what you wear.
3. Are these children really mine?
I know you wish they weren't as they destroy everything in their path quicker than you can protect it or clean it up and you may even ask, "Did I create little humans or monsters?" But at the end of the day, they are your children. No matter how they came into this world, they have been entrusted to your care and even after completing the most demonic demonstration of child destruction to ever occur on planet earth, they will smile at you and say, "I love you" and nothing else will matter. Enjoy the quiet moments in the chaos and don't let the chaos run your life.
Luckily, the answer to this question is easy. No. No, you are not dying. The fact that you can feel frustration, irritation, love and joy so fully and completely means you are very much alive. Even if some days you feel like you are dying, or at least drowning, in the deep abyss of responsibilities and obligation, this too shall pass. While you wait for it to pass, just keep reassuring yourself that it is good to be alive.
5. Have I even done anything today?
This is one question we all ask that we should really strive not to ask. The moment you start questioning your productivity and wondering if you did anything worthwhile that day is the moment you allow self-doubt to creep in. I recommend pushing this question out of your thought repertoire all together, but if you must ask it, there is only one way to respond. Think of and focus on all of the little things you did that day and all of the little blessings you saw. Focus on the joy you brought your children by coloring with them for an hour, instead of dwelling on the chores you didn't get done.
Life may seem overwhelming at times and you may have your own list of 50 questions you could add to mine, but the important thing to remember when dealing with the doubts and questions that enter our minds daily is to combat them with positivity. I know it sounds cliché, and it is much harder to do than to say. It won't happen all at once, but a little positive change each day really does go a long way.