These 36 questions are designed to make anyone fall in love with you

If you're searching for love, this might be your answer.

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  • Can a simple set of questions really make people fall in love?

  • In her Modern Love Essay, "To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This", author Mandy Len Catron argues that yes, they can.

  • Since 2015, her piece has captured the attention of millions of readers around the world. Her story revolves around a series of 36 questions, designed by researchers, that resulted in two strangers falling in love. Catron, wanting to pursue love in a more intelligent way, was curious about the technique and decided to put it to the test.

  • Did she fall in love? Yes, she did.

  • The 36 questions Catron referred to in her essay come from a study conducted by Dr. Arthur Aron, a psychology professor at the State University of New York. He wanted to find out if he could, "create closeness in an experimental context."

  • You can read the complete study here.

  • Here is how to put Dr. Aron's theory to the test. Below are three sets of questions. With your partner, take turns asking each other the questions in order. Once you've completed all the questions, spend four interrupted minutes looking directly in each other's eyes.

  • Set 1

    1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

    2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

    3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

    4. What would constitute a "perfect" day for you?

    5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

    6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

    7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

    8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

    9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

    10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

    11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

    12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

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  • Set 2

    1. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

    2. Is there something that you've dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?

    3. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

    4. What do you value most in a friendship?

    5. What is your most treasured memory?

    6. What is your most terrible memory?

    7. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

    8. What does friendship mean to you?

    9. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

    10. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

    11. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people's?

    12. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

  • Set 3

    1. Make three true "we" statements each. For instance, "We are both in this room feeling ... "

    2. Complete this sentence: "I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... "

    3. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

    4. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met.

    5. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

    6. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

    7. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

    8. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

    9. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?

    10. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

    11. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

    12. Share a personal problem and ask your partner's advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

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  • If you are wondering if Carton and her boyfriend are still in love, yes, they are. However, in her essay, Cardon admits, "Although it's hard to credit the study entirely (it may have happened anyway), the study did give us a way into a relationship that feels deliberate ... Love didn't happen to us. We're in love because we each made the choice to be."

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Katelyn Carmen is a freelance content marketer, writer and graphic designer. She loves her husband, family, friends and faith.

Website: http://www.katelyncarmen.com/

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