As humans, we are all susceptible to the same affliction: We all have flaws. Not one of us is perfect. So why is it that despite knowing we all have unavoidable flaws, we continue to compare ourselves to one another? It is something we all do. But where is the logic in it? There is none.
Do you treat others the same way you treat yourself?
If you answer yes and you treat yourself absolutely poorly, then you don't need me to tell you twice that you are probably a bully.
You know just which weaknesses to target. And, when you attack, you criticize those weaknesses and blow them out of proportion. You constantly tell yourself you are not good enough and you will never be good enough. You are your own absolute worst critic. You never let yourself hear the end of your insults, doubts and hurtful thoughts. You think you will never measure up to what other people have done. You constantly find yourself feeling empty. And you feel insignificant and unimportant to society.
Stop telling yourself lies.
Bullying needs to stop. Don't stop believing in yourself. You are capable and deserving of the greatest opportunities life has to offer. Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself the way you treat others: with respect, kindness and compassion. Have courage and confidence.
Your life is not measured by your list of achievements or your looks. It is about who you are as a person and what you do with the time you have been given.
So how can you free yourself from your constant bullying? Here are a few tips to try:
Be kind to yourself
When someone gives you a compliment, what is your first thought? That the person complimenting you thinks you look awful on all other days of the week? Or is your first thought something like, "I really do look good in this outfit!"?
Do you cry over spilled milk, or do you laugh at it? Do you belittle yourself, or do you laugh at yourself?
Confidence comes from your perspective on life. Respect your decisions, compliment your looks and have confidence in your abilities. Instead of being a commentator, be your own cheerleader.
Be aware of distorted thinking
If you have a nasty habit of expecting the worst possible outcome in a situation, do your best to look at the good possibilities as well.
There is nothing more damaging than only focusing on the negatives in life. Also, refrain from thinking you can read everyone's minds and that their minds are full of critical thoughts about you. Most likely, they aren't.
Take your own advice
Do you give your friends expert advice on a variety of subjects? Don't forget to listen to your words as well. In a difficult situation, try to think about what advice you might give a friend if they were in the same situation that you are in.
You definitely wouldn't belittle them and tell them they are going to fail; you would lift them up and support them. Talk to yourself the way you would talk to someone you love. You will see life in a whole new perspective.
All in all, be true to yourself. Give yourself a break. You are who you are for a reason. You have your own unique talents, personality and life to live. Don't live constantly trying to be someone else. Be you because you are one of the greatest creations on the face of the earth.
And on that note, I leave you with wise words from "The Lego Movie" that I continue to live by every day: "You are the most talented, most interesting and most extraordinary person in the universe. And you are capable of amazing things. [...] And so am I. And so is everyone. [...] And you still can change everything."
Chakell Wardleigh has a Bachelor of Arts in English. She spends her days silently (mostly) correcting others' grammar. She adores all things nerd, such as Harry Potter, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Shakespeare, and anything else that whisks her away from reality. She currently works as an editor for the FamilyShare team. You can usually find her with her nose in a book, laughing too loudly, or belting out songs from Hamilton.