9 signs you are infatuated and NOT in love

Is your love real? Or is it fantasy? Check out these nine ways to tell the difference.

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  • Infatuation and love bring about many similar feelings, but what makes them different is how long they both last. Infatuation is a short burst of euphoria, while love is a feeling that can last an entire lifetime. However, it can still be tricky to tell exactly what is going on.

  • Want to know exactly what you are feeling? These nine signs can help you tell the difference.

  • You met just a short time ago

  • If one of you has already said the "L" word and you have only known each other for a few days, please reconsider. I have friends who met someone and only one week later started talking marriage. A month or two later, the couple couldn't stand each other. Love may begin with infatuation, but true love does not come instantaneously. Love takes time to develop.

  • You think you know everything about them

  • When you think you know everything about this person, do you find yourself surprised by things they do or say? If this sounds familiar, it's infatuation. I cannot fully express how many times I have watched my friends fall for their "perfect" person, only to find out dark truths as time went on. Some "princes" were lazy, some lacked ambition and purpose, and others just didn't care about anything but themselves. Don't let infatuation cloud your judgement and keep you from finding true love.

  • You feel lonely

  • Although your darling brings you temporary happiness when they are around, does that happiness last after they go home for the night? Love means sharing a special bond or connection with someone. Infatuation can often leave you feeling very drained and lonely because your connection isn't quite right. You may feel concerned that they aren't giving you enough attention or that they won't always be there for you. When you are truly in love with someone, they are there for you regardless of the circumstances.

  • They are "perfect" in your eyes

  • Infatuation lets you think you've found the perfect person. All you can see are triumphs and talents; you are blind to any weakness or flaw. On the other hand, love lets you see their weaknesses and their strengths. You know exactly what makes them who they are, and despite their imperfections, you adore them anyway.

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  • You're on cloud nine

  • Does life just feel like paradise? Do you feel like you can give everything up just for this person? Infatuation causes us to foolishly abandon our normal day-to-day lives and throw away everything we love away just for one person. However, when you are in love with someone, you become a greater individual. You work harder and you strengthen every relationship in your life rather than neglecting them. You focus on becoming a better person for yourself, and for the one you love.

  • Everything has to happen now

  • If you cannot wait to take the next step in your relationship, it's infatuation. If he got down on one knee tomorrow you would undoubtedly say yes, even if you have only known him for a month. Infatuation is rushed. Love is not. Love takes time because it's based on trust and commitment. Those things take time to build, and is worth waiting for.

  • Your attraction is only skin deep

  • You love the way your honey looks at you and speaks to you. But do you truly know what they really think about you? The apple of your eye may have an attractive face, but what really makes a person attractive are the quirks, hopes, dreams, fears, and feelings that make them unique. If you can only focus on the outside and superficial aspects of your relationship, it's infatuation not love.

  • You feel insecure

  • Do you find yourself becoming incredibly jealous when your darling talks to someone of the opposite sex? Do you panic when they don't call you the second they get home from work? Are you terrified that they are going to bail on you at any moment? Insecurity is common in a relationship based on infatuation. Love is different. When it's love, you know you are on their mind even though they haven't been able to send a text all day.

  • You are exhausted all the time

  • Are you tired and exhausted for no reason? Do you feel a heavy burden of worry and doubt on your shoulders? Being infatuated is all-consuming. If you find yourself doubting their feelings for you or you often shed tears because of the stress the relationship is placing on you, it's not love. Love is energizing, not exhausting. Being in love makes you feel secure; it dispels doubts and worries.

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Chakell Wardleigh has a Bachelor of Arts in English. She spends her days silently (mostly) correcting others' grammar. She adores all things nerd, such as Harry Potter, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Shakespeare, and anything else that whisks her away from reality. She currently works as an editor for the FamilyShare team. You can usually find her with her nose in a book, laughing too loudly, or belting out songs from Hamilton.

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