5 ways to help the superman in your marriage

Every woman wants a hero. Even if you didn't marry a superhero, here are five ways every woman can help her husband be a superman.

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  • Every man wants to be a superhero. What woman wouldn’t want to be married to one? I imagine the theme song, “I need a hero,” with the lyrics, “It’s going to take a superman to sweep me off my feet,” is something every woman may have hoped to experience. If you find yourself married to someone a little more human, don’t get discouraged. Just try these five simple suggestions and you might find that you really are married to a superman, after all.

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  • 1. Don’t expose him to his weaknesses

  • Every superhero has his weaknesses. Being married to a superhero makes it easy to pinpoint those weaknesses. Don’t use your knowledge of his weaknesses against him. Lift up your superman rather than dragging him down. As the wife of a superhero, it is important to love, honor, and support the man you married rather than bring him down by constantly introducing his weaknesses into the picture. Can you imagine how difficult it would be for Superman to be the hero he needed to be if he had a wife who carried kryptonite around in her pocket and took it out to use it against him every time he frustrated her? Bringing up your husband’s faults and weaknesses to use against him is no different. If you want to be married to a superman, then treat your husband with respect; like a superhero should be treated.

  • 2. Give him someone worth fighting for

  • Do you ever notice that most superheroes have a muse? They have women of strength and courage for whom they are willing to fight to the death. In your marriage, try to be the kind of woman your husband would fight for. I am not talking about being a beauty queen. But I am talking about taking care of yourself both inside and out. Try to eat well and encourage him to do the same. Exercise, even if it’s just going on a short walk with the kids. Put on fresh clothes and do your hair each day rather than wearing sweats and yesterday’s ponytail. Read good books so you can talk to your superhero about interesting things. Learn about his likes so you can have a conversation with him on his interests. Commit each day to improving yourself so that you are just a little bit better than you were the day before. You will find that as you do, not only will you become a woman of strength and courage for your husband, it will become a strength to your marriage.

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  • 3. Don’t become his super-villain

  • There’s enough evil in this world that your superhero will have to fight daily without having to come home and fight you, as well. Try your best to resolve concerns with your superman without getting angry and becoming the bad guy. As two grown adults, you should be able to resolve concerns as grown-ups without resorting to name calling and threats. If an issue needs to be resolved, use good old-fashioned communication. Express your concerns by both of you sharing your feelings and resolving to work at fixing the problem. That is how peace talks work. Super-villains don’t talk they go straight to fighting. Don’t fall into the trap of a super-villain. Choose the way of peace, it makes all the difference.

  • 4. Learn to be his sidekick

  • Sometimes, you may be called upon to be a sidekick to your superhero. A "sidekick" is someone who a superhero can rely on to have his back and help him through the difficult situations he may find himself in. There will come times in your marriage when your superhero will find himself backed up against a wall, not knowing what to do. Make sure you have his back and that you are always there to support him. Help him know that you are there for him, no matter what, and that he can rely on you for encouragement and support. It is good for every superhero to know that someone has got his back. It will allow him to have courage and confidence when he is called upon to do hard things.

  • 5. Make a comfortable hideout

  • After a long day of crime fighting, a superhero wants nothing more than to come home and relax. Try to make your home a place where your superhero wants to be. Make it a place where happiness and peace are present, where laughter can be heard, and joy can be felt. When he comes home, try to have the house clean, and try not to unload all the unpleasant things of the day.

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  • Every night, when our children were very young, my husband would come home from work, and I would tell him all of the naughty things the kids had done that made the day difficult for me. One day, my husband asked me if the kids ever did anything positive. I realized that they absolutely did positive things, but the negative things seemed so overwhelming to me that I forgot them. My husband was only seeing our children in a negative light because of the way I painted them each night. I began to keep a journal of all the positive things they did throughout the day. As a result, I was so focused on the positive that the negative didn’t seem so bad anymore. Each night my husband started looking forward to hearing the good little antidotes about our children and we would laugh together. It was a wonderful experience. Make your home a place of laughter, a place of love, and a place of peace.

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  • You may not have married Superman, but every man can be a superman if he is treated like a superhero. By applying these five simple suggestions to your marriage, you may find that the man you married isn’t too far off from the superhero you require.

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Tiffany Fletcher, author of "Mother Had a Secret: Learning to Love my Mother and her Multiple Personalities" http://motherhadasecret.blogspot.com/

Website: http://motherhadasecret.blogspot.com

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