Words can cause just as much pain, if not more, than that of physical pain. Even if the words don't seem to mean much to the person saying them, they can drastically affect the emotional state of the one on the receiving end.
In a marriage, it is very important to solve conflicts right away to avoid the repressed anger and built up emotions that can come to the surface from waiting it out.
However, if you are tempted to say these 5 things to your spouse, take a step back because these phrases can destroy the happiness that your marriage once had:
"Just leave it - I'll do it myself"
You think it is easier to fold the laundry by yourself, or do the dishes alone while he goes back into his office, but what you're really doing is pushing him away. No one likes to feel like their efforts were worthless. No one likes to be reminded of their incompetence.
Saying that you can do it yourself is another way of showing the lack of patience you have for your spouse. Do this too much and your husband may think, "I can never do anything right. I can't please her."
Even if you do not think he or she notices that you are doing it, eventually you will either get tired of what little they do around the home, or they will bring up their frustrations with you about the way you treat them in an accusing way.
"It's not my problem"
False. Your problems are shared now. When you got married that is one of the many things you agreed to. Support your spouse and be with them especially in the hard times. No one really wants to be alone when times are tough. Saying it's not your problem puts your spouse in a very difficult spot emotionally because you are essentially telling them to go through their trial alone.
There will be times in your marriage when one of you is whining, complaining and being just plain stubborn. Ignoring them and saying that they need to get over it because it is not your problem can break the trust that they have for you. They will not want to tell you whenever they need your help.
What happy marriage has little to no communication?
"You never ... "
This instantly opens up a can of worms. The negative tone that comes with phrases such as these will bring out a very defensive partner. Your spouse wants to do most anything for you, but it is all in the way you ask.
Blanket statements are unfair and can make your partner feel as if they are being attacked and can do nothing to fix it.
Make sure you are not making accusations or assumptions that are not true because trust is easily broken when these are brought into the picture.
"I told you so"
You are not always right. Take that statement as you wish, but it is just the truth. Constantly letting your partner know that you are right and they are wrong will leave them questioning their role in the relationship.
Once that happens you must take action to repair the damage! Building resentment for one another starts with phrases like this.
"Why can't you be more like ... "
Even if you don't say it out loud, your husband can tell when you are comparing him to someone else. Remember the wonderful qualities he has and stop pointing out his flaws.
Tana is a student with a passion for words. She believes that written words can touch people in ways unimaginable. In her spare time she enjoys singing, hiking, cuddling in a fuzzy blanket, and spending time with her friends and family.