Telling your strong and independent husband to stop doing something is an extremely tough task. But there are little things every husband should quit doing to help strengthen his relationship with his wife and save his marriage.
Here is a list of 9 things every husband should stop doing today to save his marriage from a lot of trouble down the road:
1. Stop running away from your problems
Every husband needs to face the emotional, physical and verbal turmoil in his relationship head-on. If there is a problem, stop running away from the tough conversations that need to take place in order to solve the issues. Bring up the hot topics and talk through them.
2. Stop comparing yourself to others
There is no need to compare yourself to the next man. If you are in a happy marriage, the battle of seducing and attracting a partner is over. The game is won. Remember your wife chose to marry and love you the minute she said I do. Have confidence in the vows and commitments you made to each other.
3. Stop holding a grudge
Do not go to bed angry, and do not wake up ready to address the same fight. Do not create an identity solely dependent on being the "wronged" one or the victim. Try to let go of the need to always be right.
"To let go of our grudge, we have to be willing to let go of our identity as the "wronged" one, and whatever strength, solidity, or possible sympathy and understanding we receive through that "wronged" identity," said Reverend Nancy Colier. "We have to be willing to drop the "I" who was mistreated and step into a new version of ourselves, one we don't know yet, that allows the present moment to determine who we are, not past injustice."
4. Stop saying you are fine
If you are struggling to cope with a work or family situation quit saying you are fine. Openly and adamantly address the source of your angst. Creating an open forum with your wife where you can discuss issues and reveal your feelings will help the two of you draw closer together.
5. Stop thinking you're a terrible father
Every husband must have confidence in their ability to father their own children. The lack of faith is received as inadequacy and a weak investment in the wellbeing of your own family.
Stop believing it is unmanly to ask for help. If there is a problem that you cannot solve on your own, remember your wife. You are married. You are a dynamic duo. Never be afraid to ask your wife and teammate for help. Whether you need financial, parenting, work or emotional support, never be afraid to reach out and connect with her.
7. Stop with the put-downs
Stop putting down others with casual complaints and subtle passive-aggressive comments. Take the time to identify the small put-downs you say and try to find a way to eliminate them. You will notice a happier environment at home and a stronger relationship with your wife.
Everyone has their own unique way to love people. Understanding how your wife shows you love will help you find more reasons to show appreciation for all of the sacrifices and small acts of kindness she does for you and your family.
9. Stop praising items and start praising people
Stop praising and idolizing gadgets, clothes and worldly items. Start praising the small things your wife does every day for you. Start praising your kids for their small and large accomplishments. Start praising your coworkers for the effort and time they put in to helping you and your company succeed. Stop placing praise in areas of your life that do not deserve your time and effort. Your encouragement and positivity will come back to you ten-fold.