Every marriage is different. But one thing they all have in common is that none of them are perfect, no matter how much you want to believe they can be. In the day-to-day routine, we have a tendency to make things seem small, but they may have a lasting negative impact on the person who is most important to us.
Everyone needs to blow off some steam every once and a while, but when all your husband hears are complaints about him, money or your hair, it becomes draining. Negativity is exhausting. When it begins to outweigh the positives, your husband may start to think he is not fulfilling his role as a husband.
2. You are controlling
If you hardly let him leave the house by himself, or you give him a to-do list every day, you are controlling your husband. Marriage is about mutual trust, and in controlling your husband's every move, the capacity for trust diminishes. The ability to comprimise with your husband is one of the most vital qualities you can have in your marriage. Being controlling causes intense and unnecessary friction.
3. You are never wrong
Although some people live by the age-old rule that women are always right, sometimes we are not. Nobody has the ability to be undoubtedly right all the time, and nobody died from being wrong on occasion either.
4. You compare him to other people
Do not compare your husband to his father, your father, your ex or your friend's husband. He chose to be with you. Do not compare him to someone else when you are frustrated with some of his choices. Everyone shows love in their own personal way. Just because your friend's husband bought her flowers, and yours didn't does not mean he doesn't love you. Focus on the things he does do for you rather than the things he doesn't.
5. You cannot do anything by yourself
Just because you are married and live in the same home, does not mean you have to be right next to each other all hours of the day. In order to let him complete you, you must be able to feel content with yourself and on your own. Complete yourself. As much as he enjoys helping you out with your tasks, if you rely on him to do every little thing for you, it could become a burden on his shoulders.
When you constantly complain about your outfit, hair or body shape, you are throwing all of your insecurities onto your husband's plate. If you need continual reassurance, it will begin to wear down his patience with you. If you are truly unhappy with yourself, do something to make yourself happy.
7. You don't value your time together
When settling down after a long day at work, are you fiddling with your phone or scrolling through Instagram when you are sitting together for the first time that day? Be respectful and appreciative of your husband and his hard work. When you are spending quality time, don't constantly distract yourself with things that can wait.
8. You put everything else before your husband
Many people do this without realizing it. Your mom, your friends, your career and even your kids come before your husband. Putting your husband first secures your marriage and your family. He is the most important person in your life, as you will be spending the rest of it with him by your side. So many marriages fail because of unintentionally neglecting one's spouse.
9. You think he has to earn your respect
Many people think women are the only ones who require respect in a relationship. How wrong those people are. Society gives women false expectations of men. Women grow up thinking men need to be supervised and disciplined like children, when in reality, men are fully capable adults who need respect as much as you do.
10. You expect him to read your mind
If you have something that needs to be said, don't make your husband play a guessing game. You may want him to already know why you are upset or what you want, but sometimes he may not fully understand. He cannot read your mind no matter how much you want him to. Be open and honest — it lowers the possibility for future arguments about why you said yes when you really wanted to say no.
11. You nag him
Nobody likes to be nagged. Your husband has many roles to fill, besides the ones you place on his shoulders. Don't make him feel guilty about the small things. He most likely knows what you expect of him and he will get it done as soon as he is able. You are his wife, not his mother. Instead of constantly reminding him what he needs to do, offer to help with his other responsibilities.
Nobody on this earth is perfect. Instead of focusing on your husband's shortcomings or frustrating tendencies, remember the wonderful qualities he has, and how well he treats you. Weaknesses lead to strengths, and if you look at him in that light, he is indeed your Prince Charming.
You are not a bad wife if you are guilty of any of the above. Nobody is perfect, and nobody ever will be. All in all, marriage is based on love, appreciation, trust and respect. Every marriage has its different highs and lows, and if you both continue to improve yourselves and build each other up, there is nothing you two won't be able to overcome. After all, you belong together.
Chakell Wardleigh has a Bachelor of Arts in English. She spends her days silently (mostly) correcting others' grammar. She adores all things nerd, such as Harry Potter, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Shakespeare, and anything else that whisks her away from reality. She currently works as an editor for the FamilyShare team. You can usually find her with her nose in a book, laughing too loudly, or belting out songs from Hamilton.