Did you ever think back in high school that you'd still be dealing with feelings of being left out or not part of the "popular" crowd? I sure didn't. I've dealt with these experiences off and on through out my life but never forsaw my 35 year old self dealing with the same feelings I felt back in grade school. We all have a deep desire to fit in, to have friends, to be liked, and validated.
Life brings us challenges that we must overcome otherwise they repeat themselves until the lesson is learned.
So who cares that I didn't get invited to the party, the girls night, the baby shower, the wedding, the fancy event, etc. Does that really mean I'm not a lovable person? That I don't have friends that appreciate and support me? No!
So why do we FEEL this way when we didn't get the invite? Why do we allow ONE thing to bring us down and forget all the wonderful things in our lives?
We can't ALL be included in EVERYTHING. We need to take our turn. Everybody has experienced the feeling of being left out, but most likely we have also experienced the thrill and excitement of being a part of a great group of friends or invited to the awesome party. So lets focus on all the good in our lives and allow others to have THEIR TURN in recieving good things.
So as I'm sitting here being consumed with these thoughts, I'm reminded of my role as a mother. Trying to shift my focus and remember the messages and lessons that I hope to pass on to my own daughter.
First one being DON'T TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY
My favorite quote by Joel Osteen is:
"Many people let negative words or other peoples opinions ruin their lives. They live to please other people and honestly think that they can be happy by trying to keep everyone else happy. They don't want anybody to say a negative thing about them. That's simply impossible. You have to accept that not everyone is going to like you, not everybody is going to accept you, and you certainly cannot keep everyone happy. Some people will find fault no matter what you do."
It's human nature to want love and acceptance, but we can't win them all.
Social media can do crazy things to ones self-esteem. We are constantly comparing ourselves with others. We get a peak inside someone else's life and we can't help but think that their life is a little better than our own. We think, if only I had this, if only I lived there, if only they were MY friends.We somehow think that if our lives were a little more like someone else's THEN we would be happier. What we fail to remember is that nobody's life is perfect. Maybe they have a nice house but their marriage is failing. Maybe they have a huge social media following but feel lonely inside. Perhaps they have amazing friends but struggle with their weight. They may have been blessed with physical beauty but struggle with self doubt. There is opposition in all things.
We all have struggles. Things that we've dealt with in the past, things that we are dealing with now and things we will have to endure in the future. We don't typically share the things we struggle with, not necessarily because we are trying to portray a perfect life. Let's be honest, nobody wants to get on social media and hear people complaining all day. We like HAPPY, it's what draws us in.
I hope that I can get a little better at loving myself and having gratitude in my heart. Instead of focusing on the negative, I want to focus on all the good in my life. There is always good to seen, we just often times forget to recognize it because all our energy is going towards trying to fit in or getting people to notice us, love us and appreciate us. It's such a selfish way of living right? What a narcasistic way of thinking. Why not take the focus off ourselves just a little and GIVE what we desire to receive. It will have the same affect as if it were happening to us.
One of the best parts about having a blog is that it's extremely theraputic and also gives me great purpose while using my pain to help others. It's always nice to know that we are not alone and that others experience the same kinds of emotions. Maybe not exactly, but we all struggle every now and then.
Editor's note: This article was originally published on Wannabe Balanced Mom. It has been republished here with permission.
Crystal Escobar is the author and creator of WannabeBalanced.com, and Founder of the Wannabe Balanced Event for women. She's a mother of 4, living in Utah. Instagramming and blogging about women empowerment and balancing life as a Momprenuer. Sharing healthy lifestyle tips and information on building a successful online business as a stay at home mom. Kombucha maker, home birth enthusiast, and wannabe balanced mom.