We far too often catch ourselves blaming other people for our mistakes and shortcomings when in fact we ourselves are the ones to blame. The goals we set are aimed to bring us happiness, but they can set us up for failure if we do not approach them properly.
Here are 7 signs that you are sabotaging your own happiness:
1. You pay too much attention to your inner critic
You try to ignore that horrible voice inside your head doubting your every move, but you are starting to believe it more and more. When you were younger the inner critic allowed you to try your very best and it pushed you constantly. Now, as an adult, it no longer benefits you and instead prevents you from following your dreams.
Instead of pushing away the inner critic, listen to it. I know I just said it wasn't benefiting you anymore, but maybe you just weren't letting it. What fear is it bringing back? You may be able to reach a goal you have had for yourself by taking the time to evaluate your inner fears that have prevented you from succeeding.
2. You don't let yourself fail
You fear failure. The idea of disappointing someone, embarrassing yourself or not achieving what you truly desire on the first attempt, refrains you from taking a leap of faith. You cannot obtain happiness without making mistakes along the way.
TAKE A RISK! Push yourself farther than you think you can go and then see what happens. Ask yourself, "What did I learn?" Remember all of the people who achieved incredible things after failing first. Alexander Graham Bell, Thomas Edison, etc.
3. You stay in your comfort zone
Risking the unknown is scary. You don't know if it will bring your happiness, but if you have to doubt your own happiness where you are now, then that is a clear sign something better is awaiting you. Do not rationalize your dreams because it 'isn't practical' or 'is just a dream.'
Embrace change today. Do not wait until you have no other choice but to step outside into the unknown- make a conscious choice to do it today. If you feel you cannot do it alone, ask a friend to help you make this change.
Mistakes are a part of life like mentioned before. You will make them often just like everyone else in this world, and you will learn from them. If you are still holding onto the pain, the guilt is going to eat at you until you have no confidence in yourself. Letting go is going to be challenging, but it is essential.
Find a form of release. Meditation, music, whatever it may be, may just save you. In order to move forward and find light in the darkness you are trapped in, you need to find a way to move on from the past and look toward the future.
5. You try to control or fix everyone and everything
It's your way or the highway, right? Wrong. Very wrong. If you are trying to control your spouse, friends, or family members, then you are limiting yourself from other possibly better ideas to enter into your life. Sorry to break it to you, but you are not the smartest person in the entire world. We all need to hear advice from others in order to achieve true happiness.
Surrender yourself to the ideas of others. Start by asking someone their opinion on a project you are completing and see where that leads you.
6. You procrastinate everything you shouldn't
When it comes to making big decisions, you push it off to the person beside you, or wait until you absolutely have to choose. At first it feels good, but when you have to do 5 loads of laundry in the middle of the night because you realize the basketball jersey, soccer shorts, swimsuits and practically everything you need for tomorrow is in the dirty clothes hamper, you are not the happiest mother in the world.
Identify what is preventing you from taking action right away. Acknowledge your discomforts and make a plan of action to resolve them. This is not going to be an overnight resolution, but the habit of procrastination can definitely be erased.
7. You are a perfectionist
It is great to try your best at everything you do, but if your happiness depends upon it, you will not be very happy with the end result. Thinking that you have to be perfect all of the time is so often what holds us back from taking the initial step that will lead us to a happy ending.
Why do you feel you need to be perfect? Do you fear imperfections? You likely need validation that you are worthy enough to make mistakes and be 'normal.' Seek another way to find this validation. When you cannot reach perfection you will not be in a state of happiness, which can really deteriorate your self-esteem.
All of these barriers are solvable, and yet we carry on complaining, worrying and doing absolutely nothing to fix them. Overcome these challenges, find the key and unlock for your happiness.
Tana is a student with a passion for words. She believes that written words can touch people in ways unimaginable. In her spare time she enjoys singing, hiking, cuddling in a fuzzy blanket, and spending time with her friends and family.