There's a reason we've owned the same clothes for the last 15 years. We hate shopping (unless it's for tools). We'll accompany you to the mall because we like being with you, but our resolve quickly dissolves when JCPenney looms before us.
Color drains from his face.
He's still holding your hand, but he's stopped walking.
Husbands will take the arcade over Claire's any day.
7. Cell phone booth
Just get him in the near vicinity and in the eye-line of the salesperson running the booth. The salesperson will take care of the rest.
8. Revolving door
Walk away quickly. You don't know him.
9. Difficult riddles
Grab him by the shoulders outside of Ann Taylor. Look deeply into his eyes and say, "What occurs in every minute, twice in every moment but never in a thousand years?" Tie his ankle to a bench outside so he doesn't wander.
10. Popular Mechanics magazine
Keep a current version of this magazine in your purse. When you get to Urban Outfitters, lob the magazine like a grenade towards your husband and run.
David Snell is a writer for the FamilyShare team, specializing in humor writing. He's trilingual (English, Spanish and Movie Quotes), passionate about all things communication and is always up for learning something new.