If you're anything like us, then your date night conversations could sometimes use a little pick-me-up from time to time. Before we were married, we had all kinds of stuff to talk about and conversation was never lacking. Everything was new and exciting and we were thrilled and anxious to discover and learn the details of each other's lives. Well, now that we've been married for nearly eight years, there's a lot less "discovery" going on.
Simply because we feel we know almost everything about each other, the excitement of "discovery" can easily be replaced by a rather bland flavor of "ho-hum everyday chit-chat." Unless something new is going on or someone has made breaking news, you might begin to feel like there's not a lot to talk about. Don't get us wrong, that everyday chit-chat stuff is important, but maybe it isn't quite cutting it for your date nights.
For us, while on some date nights the conversation flows naturally and we could talk forever about everything, other date nights lack the meaningful conversation that we both love, whether because we are tired, or because one of us just isn't feeling chatty, or for a number of other reasons.
What to do when the conversation lags a bit ...
One thing we have done when the date night conversation lags a bit is A . be okay with silence or simple chit chat; B . people watch (admit it, it's fun); C . choose not to be embarrassed if one of us notes when the conversation lags a bit; D . ask probing questions or tell stories; and E . often one of us will suggest a list of questions to try, or a game like 20-questions, to get us thinking and talking about interesting things.
If you ever find that your dates are lacking engaging conversation, then try asking each other any one of the questions below to get things rolling again. Seriously, it can be a lot of fun to answer some totally random questions together! We promise you'll laugh anddiscover something new about your sweetheart.
Would you Rather Questions
Would you rather be a successful artist who sells uninspired art or a starving, but brilliant, artist?
Would you rather do a boring job for eight hours a day to earn $100,000 or work at an exciting job for $50,000?
Would you rather have your house always be too hot or too cold?
Would you rather experience a constant pain or a constant itch?
Would you rather go without your car or without the Internet for a month?
Would you rather be forced to whisper or to shout everything?
Would you rather have a guaranteed $100,000 or a 50/50 shot at $1 million?
Would you rather have your first child in your 40's or as a teenager?
Would you rather go 30 days without internet or 3 days without sleep?
Would you rather drive a beautiful, sleek sports car that was unreliable OR an ugly, dented, rust-covered beater that never broke down?
Would you rather never eat your favorite five foods again or ONLY eat your favorite five foods for the rest of your life?
Would you rather have smelly feet or bad breath?
Would you rather go to school in the summer and have the rest of the year off or go to school during the rest of the year and have summers off?
Would you rather be the most popular kid in school or the smartest kid in school?
Would you rather be extremely tall or short?
Would you rather have the ability to fly or to be invisible?
Would you rather be outside all day or inside all day?
Would you rather always have to say everything that you are thinking or never speak again?
Would you rather fight 100 duck-sized horses or 1 horse-sized duck?
Would you rather begin every sentence with "Hey, idiot" or end every sentence with "...Haha, I was just kidding."
Would you rather be toilet paper or tissue paper?
Would you rather be a horrible dancer or a horrible singer?
Would you rather be the smartest moron or the dumbest genius?
Would you rather be able to fluently speak every language in the world or to be the best in the world at something of your choosing?
Would you rather wear a snowsuit in the desert or a swimsuit in Antarctica?
Would you rather change the past or be able to see into the future?
Would you rather live one life that lasts 1,000 years or live ten lives that last 100 years each?
Would you rather never laugh again or never use your smartphone again?
Would you rather live in the same home for 25+ years or move around 15 times?
Would you rather lose $1000 or lose all of your phone contacts?
What was the most frustrating thing that happened today? How did you deal with it?
What is something you did as a child that your parents don't know about?
What is the craziest dream you've ever had?
What is it about (insert anything) that you love so much?
What is the best thing in your life right now? What is the hardest thing?
Have you read any fascinating articles lately?
What was your favorite job in high school/college? Who were the people you worked with? What did you love about that job and hate about that job?
Is there a silly accomplishment you've made that you're secretly really proud of?
Who is your favorite superhero?
If you could be in a movie, which movie would you choose? What is it about that movie that is exciting/adventurous/amazing to you?
What made you laugh today?
What does (insert something important) mean to you and why?
Is there a show that you used to watch as a kid that you would love to see come back?
What's your favorite outdoor activity? What do you love most about it?
What's your favorite book? Who is your favorite character? What do you love most about that book?
How did growing up where you did change who you are? What was unique about where you grew up?
What are three things on your bucket list?
What do you love most about being a mother/father?
What is something that has been on your mind the past few days?
Why do you think (insert important topic of conversation) is so good for men, or women, or marriages?
What song can always make you dance, especially when no one's around?
What's the strangest thing you've ever eaten?
If you could choose any career right now, what would it be?
Another fun activity to try over date night is to open up your social media accounts and tell your spouse about one of your friends/family members/acquaintances/etc. Share stories, memories, lessons learned, and anything else you know about that person. For example, fill your spouse in on every single detail. Take turns sharing and learning more about the people in each other's lives.
Aaron & April are the founders of Nurturing Marriage, a website dedicated to strengthening marriages. They enjoy playing football with their two little boys, watching sports, eating cereal late at night, and going out for frozen yogurt.