It is no secret that marriage is hard; and unfortunately, love isn't all that matters. A successful marriage requires daily, continual effort to reap the blissful moments that the relationship has to offer. But sometimes we take for granted the tremendous blessing that we do have: a sweetheart to hold hands with through all the good times and the bad.
What are some signs that your spouse, or even yourself, has started to become lazy and your marriage is starting to fall low on the priority list? Here are five things to watch for:
1. Constant teasing
Certain types of teasing can be a good thing. In fact, teasing was a way I knew my husband liked me before we were dating. It can be a way of flirting and getting the other person's attention. However, sometimes the incessant teasing becomes rude and condescending. Hurtful teasing is the wrong way to get the other's attention. When this type of teasing is taking place, it shows your spouse isn't taking the time to really show you that he loves you; which he should be showing you every single day.
2. Saying no to date night
Frequent date night is vital in a successful relationship. This is the time when you can focus on each another. You can communicate and solve problems together. You can laugh and remind one another why you fell in love in the first place. If the opportunity for a date night comes up, you should both be jumping at the chance, not turning it down.
3. Being too busy to help
Yes, we are all busy with the demands of life; but we should never be too busy for one another. Each spouse should be able to help around the house, help with children, help run errands, etc. Even though relaxation is necessary, no one person should constantly be glued to the couch while the other runs around feeling completely buried and overwhelmed. This will only make the spouse doing it all become bitter and hold resentful feelings toward the one enjoying all the relaxing time to him or herself. Never forget that marriage is a partnership.
4. Not taking care of him or herself
Very few people end up marrying a trophy wife or husband, particularly after several years of marriage and a few kids. However, this doesn't give you an excuse to let yourself go. Regular hygiene, daily exercise, and monitoring your blood pressure, cholesterol levels and weight loss or gains are all important for both yourself and your marriage.
When you feel good about yourself, you are happier; you are more willing to help, participate in activities and show love to your spouse. There are numerous benefits to taking care of your body and your appearance, and you'll begin to notice positive changes when you do.
5. Having no desire to cherish life's moments
Think about the laziest person you know. Do they want to do anything? Do they find joy in anything besides laying on the couch eating potato chips? A critical sign that your spouse is turning into a lazy lover is that he or she no longer cares about the special moments. They don't care to create memories that will strengthen a relationship and a family. They don't care to take pictures, go out of the house or spend time as a family.
Marriage is hard, but it can be beautiful when you both work together. Don't let it be OK to just give 10 percent of your marriage each day. Fight for it. Do something about it and get off the couch for it.
Courtnie is an editor for FamilyShare.com and has a degree in journalism. She has a slight obsession with running, newspapers and large fuzzy blankets. She currently lives in Idaho with her husband and two sons.