How often should you have sex?

You’ve heard the more sex, the better. Is that true?

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  • You've heard the more sex, the better.

  • Not completely true.

  • So how much sex do you need for a happy marriage? A recent study found some interesting discoveries. Read what these experts say when it comes to the right amount of sex - and how to get it:

  • Enough sex is more achievable than you may think

  • Studies have shown for a while that couples who have sex frequently are reportedly happier than those who don't. But what does frequently mean?

  • Psychologists at the University of Toronto discovered that couples who have sex once a week are happier than those who have it less often, but the benefits leveled off there. A couple who has sex four times a week is not any happier than those making it a weekly date.

  • So, relax. You don't have jump on the trendy "have sex every day" bandwagon.

  • It's not about the number

  • If you're not having sex once a week, and you're both happy - wonderful! No need to put stress on a number when something's already working for both of you.

  • "Certainly there are couples for whom having sex less frequently will be fine for their happiness," said Amy Musie, a postdoctoral researcher studying sexual relationships, in an interview with CNN. "And there are couples who will get increases in happiness if they have sex more than once a week."

  • Don't obsess about the exact number. Experiment and figure out what's best for you and your sweetheart.

  • Why is it so hard to talk about?

  • The honeymoon phase of a relationship is anywhere from 18 months to three years. During that wonderful googly-eyed phase, your off-the-charts hormone levels make it easier to talk openly to your love about sex, according to a Wall Street Journal article.

  • But then life sets in. Parts of us are hidden. Past hurts have been buried. Sometimes we fear intimate discussions will bring unwanted moments to the surface again.

  • This could be the most useful article of your life

  • You now have an easy way to bring up a conversation about how frequently you would like to have sex with your spouse. Gently mention this article, and it can springboard into a topic that can otherwise be awkward to initiate.

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  • Don't talk about sex right after it's happened

  • If you're unhappy about your romantic life, don't discuss it while in bed - especially after you've been intimate.

  • "It's when we're at our most vulnerable," said Chicago sex therapist Kimberly Sharky to Women's Day.

  • Your bed should be a safe zone. Try instead to bring it up by taking a walk, going to a restaurant or bringing it up while washing dishes together.

  • Scheduling doesn't have to be boring

  • Scheduling sex might not be the right thing for you, but it may actually be far less boring than you are anticipating.

  • "For some couples, scheduling sex works really well, it gives them something to look forward to, they like the anticipation, they like feeling prioritized," Vanessa Marin, a Berlin sex therapist, said to CNN.

  • Look for the little changes

  • Are you sleeping in the same bed? Are you sharing a bed with your kids or a pet? Do you hug your wife regularly just because you love her? Or reach for your husband's hand during a movie? Those are little things that make a big difference.

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Amberlee is the content manager for and earned a degree in journalism. She creates beautiful things with her experience in writing, graphic design, photography, video and music. She loves her family, the outdoors, baby foxes and podcasts.


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